everyday is more and more pain, life will never be the same. oh how I miss shawn, with all my heart. I need so bad to hear him call me, mom im here, mom I love you. mom ill never leave you. his beautiful brown eyes and that perfect smile. my life now is hell I know that now. around his memory garden there are butterflys, yellow ones. I can smell him in his clothes, I want so bad to feel him again, to laugh with him. this pain is like no  other. I miss you shawn, I need you and love you forever. please help me, without you I cant go on,   love mom