Every day I struggle to live in a world without you...this loss of you has been the single most crushing blow I have ever endured. I find now I am not searching for answers or why...answers are a poor substitute for a daughter. My physical presence craves a hug...your voice...your smile. The world around me carries on, but the emptiness of a world without you, with all it's attendant sorrows and unanswered questions, engulfs the life I once knew. EVERYTHING...changes...
I feel completely lost...fragile. Some days I feel as though I am going mad...or wish I could lose my mind to madness...the pain is unrelenting, constant, excruciating...
I now live with an unhealthy fear of losing another. A constant state of panic for their safety. I fear everyday of forgetting your voice, of not being able to recall precious memories...I fear time marching on and placing even more distance between us. I hate...HATE...that you are no longer here.