NEVER THIS BAD

HI EVERYONE,  I MY ENTIRE LIFE I HAVE NEVER HAD DEPRESSION OR GRIEF THIS SEVERE. I TRULY DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO.   IN OCTOBER IT WILL BE 3 YEARS SINCE MY WIFE PASSED AWAY.   I BEEN ALONE EVER SINCE.   MY CHILDREN LIVE IN OTHER STATES AND EVEN THOUGH I CALL AND LEAVE MESSAGES THEY DO NOT CALL BACK. THE LONLINESS IS KILLING ME.   I AM A COMBAT VETERAN IN HIS 80'S WHO SUFFERED FROM DEPRESSION MOST OF HIS LIFE AND NOW HAS UNCONTROLLED GRIEF.  I HAVE GONE FOR HELP BUT NOTHING IS HELPING ME.     I FEEL THAT I TRULY HAVE NO ONE IN MY LIFE SINCE THE DAY THAT I LOST MY WIFE.    I HAD SIGNED UP ON WEBSITES LIKESENIOR PEOPLE MEET.  THEY WERE SCAMS AND SENT ME PEOPLE MASNY THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY EVEN THOUGH I PUT DOWN MY ZIP CODE.   I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN A DOG OR SOMETHING.    BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY THAT COMBAT WAS EASIER.     I TRULY DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO.    HAVE A GREAT DAY .   IRWIN         

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Comment by KN on July 21, 2012 at 3:24pm

Just also wanted to say to please hang in there as best as you can, even when it feels like you can't breathe anymore.  Okay?  Take care!

Comment by KN on July 21, 2012 at 3:23pm

I have to say that I know EXACTLY how you feel!!!  My husband was my whole world.  He was my best friend and we did everything together.  Although the last year of his battle with brain tumors was hard, I didn't realize how much I would miss him until he left me last December.  Instead of it getting better, it gets worse.  Even though my 19-year-old son still lives with me, it doesn't matter.  He has moved on and has his own life.  My husband's family has moved on and I think everyone else thinks I should move on to.  The support is not there anymore.  I am getting counseling, but that is not helping because she can't bring back my husband.  The only thing I'm hoping for is getting on a different antidepressant (already on one for 17 years for OCD).  I have never experienced such lonliness, such isolation.  I don't know if I even believe in God anymore.  I feel like I'm in a dark void.  Sometimes I wonder if I was the one that died and went to hell.  So I have to say that you are NOT alone!!!

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