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Comment by dream moon JO B on October 24, 2012 at 3:30pm

we hav the same thng going on my nease saed some cruel hurtfull thngs to my mum her own grandmother that has cazen a bit of a family feud wish we dont nead my brother and sister r only just speaking to eash other im just harf speaking to my neae coz shes left mum with depresing and bad with her nervs a bt worse i all ways thort the yunger 1s shud respect the elders be ther for thm im sory that yore family r treating u like that if i didnt hav my camra or art i dont no wear i wood be if my dad hadent of died this yer none of this wood of happend my dad 2 woz in uniform in the 1950s in the r a f  

Comment by Pamela Manning on October 11, 2012 at 6:44pm

I am so sorry for your loss.  I too am suffering the loss of a spouse.  My husband passed nearly 3 months ago.  3 months on the 18th of this month.  What an awful feeling of being without your spouse.  My oldest daughter said to me today "Mother, I can't help you cause I don't know how!,  you need to talk with others that are going thru the same thing you are going thru. But I can only imagine your pain and my heart cries for you every day."  I do understand what it is like to not have friends call anymore or even respond to facebook.  I guess they don't know what to say to me or my situation.   I am new (a month or less) to this site and almost gave up on it until my daughters words rang in my ear.  so I am giving it another try in hopes to find friends that are going thru the same things that i am going thru.  Feel free to read my post and share your thoughts. I do understand how you feel.

Comment by David H on October 3, 2012 at 12:06am

Hi Irwin

Understand completly. My stepson has his family children and wife. Now they don,t come to visit me but in my case there in the same city so I visit his children who are in grade school.The dad sleeps during the day night shift worker. I visit dad when he his awake.Recently something came up where I was pissed at dad and vowed not even go visit him.That passed because I told myself "to let it go" It only been 4 month since my wife passed and even though we had our differences and grew apart  I find I loved her very much and wish I could have been a better husband "in the peaceful times"

We both lived in out tight little world and had very little social contact. Now she is gone I too   find Iam alone.If it wasn,t for work I would be driven to finding a support group to belong too.I haven,t really grown used to living alone but little by little Iam adapting. So in the long run Iam going to get myself in some groups, get a massage when I can afford it and work out some more. However Iam going to give myself some time.

Do your daughters have email adresses? How about there ph numbers.Iam sure you know there birthdays (send cards) how about any childrens birthdays(cards presents)  I would be proactive it might take awhile but hopfully they(daughters will develope more interest) You shouldn,t be selling yourself like that but I would think its the thing to do

Well anyway hang in there

 

Dave

Comment by anna l. on October 2, 2012 at 4:03pm

Irvin that is just horrible and unacceptable that your children are being so distant from you.  I do not understand people sometimes!!  It is hard when they live so far away, but come on, if your daughter could fly from Florida to Boston she could have made it the few hundred more miles to New York.  You have my sympathy! 

My husband has been gone over a year now and like you I know the loneliness.  I try really hard to do everything by myself but unlike you I know if I really need something my family and friends are there for me.  I wonder if you should share your thoughts and feelings with your daughters in a letter.  I cant imagine they dont know their absence is hurting you, but one never knows what goes on in another persons mind unless they talk it out.  Good luck and keep taking gentle care of yourself.