I went to a spin class last night...my first time.  I thought it would help to get some of this inner "whatever it is" out of me. It was a spiritually based spin class and really it helped alot.  I found myself enjoying something for the first time since losing my husband and doing something healthy at the same time.  I think my husband would be smiling about this.  I somehow felt close to him while I was doing it.  I will definately go back.  I can highly recommend somehow getting some…

Last night my sons and I went to the restaurant that my husband and I had our last date in 7 weeks ago. The next day he passed away.  I thought that by going there, which I was afraid to do, it would help me face his death.  I don't know if this was the right thing to do. It only made me miss him more.  I am an emotional wreck although on the outside I appear together.  I cry everyday and then go to work or go do my chores but I have suddenly felt all alone in this.  I guess this is because…

Happy Birthday my sweet man.  Your first in Heaven.  I miss you so much and having the 4th of July without you was so hard. It's such an "in your face" holiday. I made it through somehow.  I know you are watching over us and I feel you directing us as a family like you always did.  God is with us also.  I am thankful to God that he gave me such a strong, wonderful, beautiful husband to share 33 years with.  You are truly and angel now, just as you were to so many hear on earth.  I will live…

I can't believe it's been almost 6 weeks since I've lost you.  I know you are in Heaven with God and your family, and I feel almost selfish for wishing you were here with me.  I am trying to do all the things around the house that you always wanted to get to but didn't have time for because you were so busy working and spending time with me.  Precious time with me...I am so glad we did things the way we did.  You were right...the house could wait...the chores could wait...but we couldn't…

I miss you and love you so much.  You were my big man, my king arthur, my everything.  God must have a very special place for you in heaven because you did him so welll on earth.  You are so loved and so missed by so many.  Please know that I am praying for you every day.  I am trying to do here what you wanted for the earthly things and that keeps me busy but I so long to be with you.  I know I have to wait for God to put us back together, but my true joy will be when I meet you in heaven…

To say I miss you in such an understatement.  It feels so weird to be a widow at 53.  I thought we were going to grow old together and see our kids get married and grandchildren and all that.  I love you so much as if you were right here next to me.  I am going through the motions, but my heart is so heavy. How do people do this?  All I can be sure of is that I know you are in Heaven and God needed you for some reason I do not understand.  But I will be good here…