This weekend will be one year since my dad died, i haven't been on here in a while. I've been getting really down alot recently, and also angry. I can feel myself taking my anger out on my mum, and i know i shouldn't. I want to stop myself but i can't, and after i'm done i hate myself for it.

I can't believe how quickly this year has gone by. Most of it i can't even remember.

I don't want to do anything, i don't have the motivation to get up and go find a job.

I don't…

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When my dad died 7 months ago i didn't really allow myself to grieve properly and i just got back to work and going out with my friends, and drinking alot. now i look back and can't believe how much time has passed. I feel like i want to stop everything so that i don't get any further away from when it happened. I want to be able to break down and take some time to deal with this but i feel like i should have done it 7 months ago, and now the world around has moved on and it's like im not… Continue

i know there is one of these in the i miss my son or daughter forum but i wanted to write a few that have really p****d me off



The worst is the people who say it will be hard but you will get over it eventually

- no, you dont "get over it" you learn to live with it a little. i dont even want to get over it.



Some people have said "at least he didn't have to grow old"

- What? Because that's a bad thing?



the past tense.

- it annoys me how easily… Continue

Am i alone? I certainly feel it. Along with an extreme amount of guilt for not being able to help my dad when he was dying, anger at my sister for hiding downstairs while it was happening. Regret that my older brother and sister hadn't seen him for a month. Confusion that i had a normal conversation with him, said i love you and goodnight, and half an hour later he was gone.
All of these feelings that i have had before in other circumstances, yet personifed by a thousand.
I need help.

6 months ago my dad died suddenly of a heart attack. Only me and my younger sister were in the house at the time. We were both in our rooms when we heard a crash out on the landing, and went out to see on the floor. I cant properly remember the next hour or so, but i remember sending my sister to ring for help, while i tried to resusitate him. People keep telling me that unless the ambulance there straight away then there is hardly any chance of success. I dont know whether to believe them or… Continue