I had a feeling this weekend was going to be a tough one to get through.All week long my emotions and feeling were totally foreign to me,almost like an alien was taking me over.Nothing major planned today but the alien started up in the morning,it was  like getting hit with a sledgehammer in the chest.I hadn't been this sad and depressed in a while.I get my composure together to go to the store to  buy some pool supplies as i'm waiting to get the water checked Mike the owner comes over to…

Today we planned to knock down the deck off the 2nd floor kitchen,replace the atrium doors with windows.Got home a little later than planned last night which meant I had to get up quite a bit eariler than I wanted. It was exciting because we had planned on this change for a while.I then realized I get more pleasure doing things for other people than doing things for myself.Even though the windows look good and the yard looks different and the patio looks better,there is no feeling of…

 today started like a normal day,did some errands,banking,got my haircut,went to get an eye exam,did the grocery shopping,went to the pet store.Things that were always a 2 person job in our household,I did alone.the hair dresser said Vince you lost a lot of weight you feeling ok.Well I lost 20 lbs but I'm still 5 9 and weigh 215.I wish I had someone around to talk to about looking bad.Putting the groceries away to feeding the birds was a 2 person job in our house.Cooking dinner and…