I had a feeling this weekend was going to be a tough one to get through.All week long my emotions and feeling were totally foreign to me,almost like an alien was taking me over.Nothing major planned today but the alien started up in the morning,it was  like getting hit with a sledgehammer in the chest.I hadn't been this sad and depressed in a while.I get my composure together to go to the store to  buy some pool supplies as i'm waiting to get the water checked Mike the owner comes over to make some small talk asks me "Where's Donna"he hadn't heard she passed it was the first time I've been in his store alone.That didn't help but I managed to get through it.put the chemicals in the pool and went to get some groceries.Thought I'd call my mother in law to see if she needed anything she wasn't home,My wife's voice is on her answering machine,The alien started eating me from the inside out after about 5 minutes I went into the store with wobbly legs I see my neighbors wife she came over to give her condolences since she was out of town when my wife passed.While we were talking my tears were so large I think that they splashed when they hit the ground.somehow I got through it Don't know what I spent $118.00 on.Now I'm home the water in the pool is bright blue,another 1st! pool open no wife to share it with,its very sad.I imagine this whole summer will be filled with 1st time stuff.just feels very wierd,My heart goes out to anyone feeling sad about this father's day weekend.Thanks for letting me vent .