Just when I thought it was okay and my sadness was controlled. It all came back...noi as hard but still there. Today is the 2-year anniversary of my oldest and wisest nephew passed away. He was only 46 years old. I would have never imagined I would be at his funeral...I thought I would go first. I'm a few years older than he was...My world seemed to crumble a little when I heard my sister tell me Artie was gone. I was in shock and disbelief then and I'm still having a hard time not picking…

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I don't know what to do anymore, so I'm going to write.

Every day feels worse and more lonely than the day before, since I lost my husband and best friend. I never knew life could go from being so beautiful and wonderful one day to being an ugly, awful burden the next day. In November and December, I never thought life could be so sweet. My husband and I had just moved on to the next phase of our life. We had bought a house only months before. We were finally finished moving in…

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its got my tears u cud say…

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I've never written a blog post before but I have heard that it can be very therapeutic. I've recently suffered a great loss and I feel deep down that letting some of what I feel out into the open will be helpful on my journey through grief. So, here we go..

I've been touched by death before. The death of a loved one who had been ill, the death of a loved one who lived to be 92 years old and even the death of a close friend who accidentally overdosed. Never had I ever thought…

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I guess this blog may seem out of order or confusing.. but I was here before. I was trying to be stronger than I am. I was trying to seize moment and embrace this community, and be supportive but it wasn't working out. So I took some time away and now I am back again...

Tonight I am feeling volatile, and bitter, hurt, angry, lost, depressed, hopeless and these are not typical "Mandy" feelings.  I have always been an optimist, always believed in looking forward and…

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I haven't been on much, it gets to be overwhelming along with everything else. I think about writing and I'm exhausted...but I need to. Just for a minute. I am tired of feeling this way everyday, all day. Waking up to it, going to bed with it. I want my life back. I miss Johrdan and I can't wrap my mind around it. I've come to a point where now I think of his cremation a lot. I'm realizing that it's having a larger impact on my life than I first thought. He was killed on Monday, June 20, 2011.… Continue