Rachel_micele's Blog – December 2015 Archive (4)

A second opinion(s)

I feel I've had another experience that he's with me but I need to know I'm not the only one seeing it ... ?

 Last night I went to bed. I have a sleep app on my tablet I use. I opened it up but set it aside as I forgot I was going to read for a bit. Once finished I put the book down, picked up my tablet, unlocked the screen and saw red scribbles that were not there prior. This scribble app has come open at least once before and I don't even know how to pull it up. But I immediately…

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Added by rachel_micele on December 28, 2015 at 3:00pm — 3 Comments

Sundays ...

Every day is hard and miserable but Sunday seems to be the worst. I have thought to myself that I need to find something to do but by then I'm so tired from the prior week, exhausted from life, I don't want anything to do. I'm ready for something meaningful and I only want Gary. So I just get that much more depressed.

What a waste of time! Waste of a day. Waste of a life. Waste of an existence.

For all these months I couldn't accept Gary died, couldn't say the "d" word. Still…

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Added by rachel_micele on December 21, 2015 at 3:30am — No Comments

No title

I feel like there is so much to say but yet I have nothing to say. Another damn oxymoron, nothing new in this hell. I will type anyway.

I still can't believe Gary is physically gone. I say that in a more solemn way. Before, my mind nor my emotions could wrap itself around this concept. It was the nightmare. The bad dream you can't wake up from. Feeling like every part of my existence is living on some distant planet while at the same time in some bizzare, twilight zone my body was…

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Added by rachel_micele on December 12, 2015 at 2:00am — 1 Comment

No prize at the end

The point of finally seeing the end of college semester has come. And that is a huge relief as I was burnt after the first month. But it dawned on me. That relief is as if there is some prize at the end. But there is no prize. There will be more semesters to come and I'll still be in the same damn boat I've been in - Gary is physically gone and I don't know how to live without him here.

In only a handful of days it will be 9 months. A month ago…

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Added by rachel_micele on December 6, 2015 at 1:30am — No Comments

Latest Activity

Profile IconDaisy adams and Wanda joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Saturday
Wanda posted a status
"I lost my husband overnight that it happened so fast that I still can’t accept that he’s gone."
Friday
david karpe posted a status
"I'm wondering if Myrna is well. Happy new year to Myrna and everybody."
Jan 15
david karpe is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 15
Sasha Moshko posted a discussion

My Fathers Loss

Many years ago, I lost my father after his battle with colon cancer that later spread to his bones. The grief stayed with me longer than I expected. Ambrosia Behavioral Health helped me work through that loss, understand my emotions, and find healthier ways to cope and move forward. https://www.ambrosiatc.comSee More
Jan 14
Sasha Moshko left a comment for Sasha Moshko
"Professional help gives you a safe space to talk, understand your emotions, and learn healthy ways to cope. It can make grief feel less overwhelming and easier to manage over time. https://www.ambrosiatc.com"
Jan 14
MELANIE WALENDOWSKY BAKER is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 14
Krystal Swinehart joined Jodi Denton's group
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Traumatic loss of an only child

I started this group so that people who have lost their only child or the only child that remained, as in my case, could come together because I believe people that did have a child or children who now have none have special issues.
Jan 12

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