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Rachel_micele's Blog – December 2015 Archive (4)
A second opinion(s)
I feel I've had another experience that he's with me but I need to know I'm not the only one seeing it ... ?
Last night I went to bed. I have a sleep app on my tablet I use. I opened it up but set it aside as I forgot I was going to read for a bit. Once finished I put the book down, picked up my tablet, unlocked the screen and saw red scribbles that were not there prior. This scribble app has come open at least once before and I don't even know how to pull it up. But I immediately…
ContinueAdded by rachel_micele on December 28, 2015 at 3:00pm — 3 Comments
Sundays ...
Every day is hard and miserable but Sunday seems to be the worst. I have thought to myself that I need to find something to do but by then I'm so tired from the prior week, exhausted from life, I don't want anything to do. I'm ready for something meaningful and I only want Gary. So I just get that much more depressed.
What a waste of time! Waste of a day. Waste of a life. Waste of an existence.
For all these months I couldn't accept Gary died, couldn't say the "d" word. Still…
ContinueAdded by rachel_micele on December 21, 2015 at 3:30am — No Comments
No title
I feel like there is so much to say but yet I have nothing to say. Another damn oxymoron, nothing new in this hell. I will type anyway.
I still can't believe Gary is physically gone. I say that in a more solemn way. Before, my mind nor my emotions could wrap itself around this concept. It was the nightmare. The bad dream you can't wake up from. Feeling like every part of my existence is living on some distant planet while at the same time in some bizzare, twilight zone my body was…
ContinueAdded by rachel_micele on December 12, 2015 at 2:00am — 1 Comment
No prize at the end
The point of finally seeing the end of college semester has come. And that is a huge relief as I was burnt after the first month. But it dawned on me. That relief is as if there is some prize at the end. But there is no prize. There will be more semesters to come and I'll still be in the same damn boat I've been in - Gary is physically gone and I don't know how to live without him here.
In only a handful of days it will be 9 months. A month ago…
Added by rachel_micele on December 6, 2015 at 1:30am — No Comments
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