Today I met a group of Mark's friends and we put up a cross at the site where his accident happened. I thought it would do something...make it real, bring me some peace...anything. But I just felt numb. Then something very strange happened. I left there and drove to pick up my son at a friend's house where he had spent the night. I had never met this boy's mother before. As I walked up to the house, I noticed a stone in the landscaping that said something about treasured memories of those we…

I lost my gradfather this week and I'm supposed to feel grief over that. I loved my pap dearly and yet all I feel is anger over the fact that he had 88 years of life and my Mark had only 38. I just can't mourn 88. Or maybe I just have no greiving left inside me. I sat at the service and cried for Mark.

I joined this group and then stopped visiting for a while. I think I hit a denial stage where I just wanted to avoid anything that made it real. I lost my boyfriend on July 14 in a motorcycle accident. The weeks since have been a journey I wouldn't wish on anyone. I mourn for him, but selfishly I feel I mourn for what we should have had but never got the chance. I should have had years with him and I didn't get it. I'm almost 40 and, finally, had found the love of my life and he was taken…