I joined this group and then stopped visiting for a while. I think I hit a denial stage where I just wanted to avoid anything that made it real. I lost my boyfriend on July 14 in a motorcycle accident. The weeks since have been a journey I wouldn't wish on anyone. I mourn for him, but selfishly I feel I mourn for what we should have had but never got the chance. I should have had years with him and I didn't get it. I'm almost 40 and, finally, had found the love of my life and he was taken from me.