I went to a spin class last night...my first time.  I thought it would help to get some of this inner "whatever it is" out of me. It was a spiritually based spin class and really it helped alot.  I found myself enjoying something for the first time since losing my husband and doing something healthy at the same time.  I think my husband would be smiling about this.  I somehow felt close to him while I was doing it.  I will definately go back.  I can highly recommend somehow getting some…

Last night my sons and I went to the restaurant that my husband and I had our last date in 7 weeks ago. The next day he passed away.  I thought that by going there, which I was afraid to do, it would help me face his death.  I don't know if this was the right thing to do. It only made me miss him more.  I am an emotional wreck although on the outside I appear together.  I cry everyday and then go to work or go do my chores but I have suddenly felt all alone in this.  I guess this is because…

Happy Birthday my sweet man.  Your first in Heaven.  I miss you so much and having the 4th of July without you was so hard. It's such an "in your face" holiday. I made it through somehow.  I know you are watching over us and I feel you directing us as a family like you always did.  God is with us also.  I am thankful to God that he gave me such a strong, wonderful, beautiful husband to share 33 years with.  You are truly and angel now, just as you were to so many hear on earth.  I will live…