I can't believe it's been almost 6 weeks since I've lost you.  I know you are in Heaven with God and your family, and I feel almost selfish for wishing you were here with me.  I am trying to do all the things around the house that you always wanted to get to but didn't have time for because you were so busy working and spending time with me.  Precious time with me...I am so glad we did things the way we did.  You were right...the house could wait...the chores could wait...but we couldn't…

I miss you and love you so much.  You were my big man, my king arthur, my everything.  God must have a very special place for you in heaven because you did him so welll on earth.  You are so loved and so missed by so many.  Please know that I am praying for you every day.  I am trying to do here what you wanted for the earthly things and that keeps me busy but I so long to be with you.  I know I have to wait for God to put us back together, but my true joy will be when I meet you in heaven…

To say I miss you in such an understatement.  It feels so weird to be a widow at 53.  I thought we were going to grow old together and see our kids get married and grandchildren and all that.  I love you so much as if you were right here next to me.  I am going through the motions, but my heart is so heavy. How do people do this?  All I can be sure of is that I know you are in Heaven and God needed you for some reason I do not understand.  But I will be good here…