I should be so happy but I feel so sad! My daughter and future son-in-law are home getting ready for their wedding Sat. Why did you have to leave me baby? I need you here with me!!! I can't do this all alone.

I wish so bad you were here with me! Its been so hard being alone and dealing with life by myself. Meagan gets married in less than 2 weeks and you are suppose to be here to share this special day with her. She loved you so much and misses you too. I know you want us to be happy but its so hard. I talked to your baby girl on your birthday and yesterday.... father's day. She loves you and misses you so very much!! We have all tried to be here for each other. I found a grief support group that…

How do I go on when it feels like I'm stuck on March 7th. My birthday was a blur and now here its June 13th your birthday. God I wish I was still numb instead of feeling all the emptness and lonelyness!! Baby I know you want me to be happy but how am I suppose to do that without you. You were (are) my everything...... my world!! I just wish I understood why you had to leave me when doctors said you were doing great!! Why???  People that say time heals are so wrong!! I would give anything to…

So tomorrow would have been my loves 52nd birthday! God I don't know how I'm going to make it through the day. Instead he has been gone for three months now. I'm so lost without him and I really don't see things getting any better!! How do I go on when my heart is gone? He was my everything! I still find myself going to tell him something and then realize I can't.

I really don't think I can do this. How do I go on without you??  Why did you have to leave me a week before my birthday? At least at that point I was still in shock and numb to everything around me. But dangit your birthday is coming up Wed and I can't handle it!! I want to be with you so bad it hurts. There has not been a day thats gone by that I've not cried for you! I loved you so much and still do. I blame God for taking you away from me. Part of me died the day you did I feel so guilty…