I Can't Do This!!

I really don't think I can do this. How do I go on without you??  Why did you have to leave me a week before my birthday? At least at that point I was still in shock and numb to everything around me. But dangit your birthday is coming up Wed and I can't handle it!! I want to be with you so bad it hurts. There has not been a day thats gone by that I've not cried for you! I loved you so much and still do. I blame God for taking you away from me. Part of me died the day you did I feel so guilty that I was not home with you when you past away! I feel guilty if by chance I happen to find something to smile at. God this is not fair!!! Most of my days I'm just going thru the motions. Its just not the same without you here.

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Comment by dream moon JO B on June 11, 2012 at 3:17pm

i feal the same wen my dad died i woz so numb for dayz i never notise easter go by i lost my faith to upset with god taking him away letting him suffer and bean near fathers day wish im dreding i feal guily to tht he died on a dirty hospitl ward for leaving him thr but mu cuzens told me the 1st yer or 2 is the worst sory if i hav put my fut in it the post mortem woz worse thn we get anoth 1 natsrel carzez my cuzen who is a nurse sister in charge says nobody dies of natsrel carzes evry 1 dies of sum desese or su nasty o r other

Comment by Debbie S on June 11, 2012 at 1:46am

Thank you so much Amanda. I never thought I would find the love of my life again. Then I do only to lose him to cancer!!

Comment by Amanda Ab on June 10, 2012 at 4:54pm
hello debbie. so sorry for your loss. I completely understand how you fee, trust me. know that you are not alone on how you are feeling. i say the same thing to myself every morning i wake up alone without my husband next to me, why did he leave us?. what have I done to deserve this?
please know that you can count on all of us here for support.

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My mom died 4 months ago

My mom had pulmonary fibrosis. She was sick for a few years. It was funny how when my grandmother smoked, my mom would always say-I’m gonna die from second hand smoke. My mom never smoked. She died from lung disease. Ironic.I was fine at the funeral. Planning. Talking to everyone. I thought u handled it great. Now 4 months later, I’m a mess. Some days I’m perfectly fine, but others I can’t walk down the street without crying. I keep thinking that I haven’t talked to her in a while & I…See More
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