Here we are again, the dreaded day closer to the 1 yr mark...I swear it feels like yest..Wish I could find at least one letter I would be happy with even the envelope...Why didn't I write something that changed that night?  Did you hear my vm?  I want to start writing you again, I know I wont get an answer, but I might in a different way?  I am missing you more then usual and can you believe I still don't feel like I grieved..it just never came out just lingers and sneaks up on me when I…