I feel so hopelessly broken today. I put on my ",normal" face today and went to work. I talked to people even laughed, but inside I was screaming "Can't you see I need help? I'm dying here!". Of course, those were only words heard within. Only one person that I work with, an alarmingly intuitive soul, HEARD my voice on the phone and knew something wasn't right. Knew that wasn't me. Knew I had been crying, but didn't want to come out and ask. So she posed another question, " Have you got a…

My grief has taken me over today. I just stayed in bed all day. There are two things grieving me deeply. One, my cousin who has always been my big sister, is losing her memory to dementia. She has been the one who has always called me nearly everyday since Mom died. She is my biggest supporter, my shoulder to cry on. I have always told her that she reminds me of the character "Melanie" from the movie "Gone With The Wind." She has always been so kind and loving. And now I am losing her in a…

It was a beautiful spring day, like today. Lovely blue skies, flowers blooming. Why couldn't it have passed just like every April 12th prior to it? But it didn't. By noon that day, the doctor was asking me if I wanted to put you on life support, Mom. I struggled with the decision because they weren't giving me much hope. But you had the final say, in your own way. You passed peacefully before I could even give the doctor my decision. You left as quietly as a butterfly before we even realized…

Dear Heavenly Father, please help me , and others who suffer with severe depression.  I am on my knees tonight.  My heart feels like it's broken beyond repair, but I know all things are possible with you, and that a better day is coming. ( Revelation 21:3,4).  But tonight I am drowning in my grief, so please, please throw me a lifeline. Every time  I conquer one battle, three more spring up.  I feel outnumbered tonite, dear LORD. And so weary.  Was I a born loser?  Sometimes it feels that…