I laid my beautiful mother to rest yesterday. I now sit a top of a isolated hill above the City of Angels and pray that her and my father are reunited and happy once again. After a three year draught, it poured rain yesterday for two hours straight during her funeral. I sat in the car and played this song for her in my car after everyone left. I would like to dedicate it to both of my parents and every other beloved soul who is missed here on earth. ho is missed here on earth.… Continue

As the Saturday Memorial Mass approaches everyone is getting more on edge.
Had exhaustion, guilt, panic attack, and fun with kids.
Very tired.

This is the first time, since my dads death in March of 2012, that I have been on any type of site like this. My dad was 56 when he passed away from A liver disease. I came on this site because my best friend suggested that I look into it due to being one the hardest years I have had without him. I have cried more often over his passing than any other year and I'm really not sure why. There have been a lot of changes and decisions that I have made recently, so I suppose that could be part of… Continue

So its been 1 year 2 months and 10 days...do I count? yes Time does help at times, other moments and places it hasn't made a difference, I still cry sometimes in church.

Time a healing factor? Not in my eyes for anyone that experiences a loss its all about how you handle grief. For one time may help, for another a remembrance may help, for another depression, for another family...

My thoughts and Pryers are with everyone that has experienced a loss..handle it your way, not what…

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I pass that little white house alot on my way home from work. It may look like any other house on that Street to those who don't know the secret that lies within. The lawn is neatly manicured, the hedges perfectly trimmed. Several beautiful fat cats lay on the porch sunning themselves. And in the driveway is a slightly older model car that always looks freshly washed and waxed. But no one has lived in that house for nine years now, except the cats! Every day, an older distinguished looking…

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Today was one of the final court hearings for my son's death in 2012. An inattentive driver, with a long history of drug use and violence ran him over. The DA suspected she did not want to stop and try to beat him across. She killed him while he was driving fully in his own lane...she ran him over in her attempt to make a hasty left turn. She had no insurance, third time cited for this despite it being mandatory in our state. Cops that showed up on the scene were too dumb to give her a full…

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The one year mark is coming up. I haven't been able to tell yet how I will take it. Before today I felt like it wasn't going to be a huge trigger. I have not stopped reliving that day so I thought it may just be like every other day of this miserable existence. But in the last days of February and now March officially hitting, I just don't know. I may go down the black hole of my already existing hell as I have with other triggers. My sleep at night has gotten bizarre. Jan and Feb was no…

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