These holidays were absolutely miserable for me. I just could not control my emotions. Now my daughters think I need to seek a counselor. It has only been 5 1/2 months since my loss. This is normal right? Along with the holidays was our wedding anniversary to only add to the problem. I love my daughters but they just do not understand. I knew it was just a matter of time before they would say enough is enough. I tried to explain to them that being married to someone for 38 years is so hard to… Continue

Last night was awful. Cried all evening. I truly thought I was loosing my mind. Went to bed at 11:30PM and woke at 2:30AM. Stayed awake trying to force myself to sleep. So today I am tired and knew it was going to be a bad day due to emotions and lack of sleep. The morning was tough until I said ok Jesus help me out. I prayed aloud and had a nice conversation with Jesus, I ask for relief of some of this pain and sorrow. Then I spoke out loud to my husband and express my thought, concerns, and… Continue

With Thanksgiving over and my wedding anniversary approaching (Friday November 30th) I am a total mess. We would have been married 38 years! I decided to pack up and move. To where? I wasn't sure! All I knew was I had to get away. Try to out run this awful pain and depression that is consuming me. Tears and more tears every day. No one understands. I thought I had myself under control but was blindsides and haven't been able to recover since. I did however make an appointment with a physician… Continue

From no where came the tears. The pain of my loss, flashbacks, loneliness and deep sadness. I don't cry everyday but the tears and sadness is random. When it does hit me I cry for days. Then I may be good for days before it hits again. At this point I don't know what is worse, crying daily or the random bouts of depression and tears? I have never hurt so bad in my life. It has been 3 1/2 month since my loss and people don't want to hear about my loss anymore. They avoid you. So so sad.