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Comment by Linda Engberg on December 11, 2017 at 6:14pm

M Adams,

I hope it works for you, no luck for me, the only thing I don't do after 5 years is don't cry but I am dead inside.

 

Comment by M Adams on December 11, 2017 at 5:11pm

That's it exactly, Alice -- thank you for expressing it so perfectly.  The silent uneventful part is perhaps the greatest loss, for me anyway.  At this point my main aspiration is just to look normal on the outside -- in a way I've been hiding out for the last sixteen months.  Hoping now that by next year I can face being in public without tearing up and having to explain.  My admiration for people who have gone through this kind of loss keeps growing -- thought of myself as empathetic but just had no idea of what bereaved partners were suffering.  

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 11, 2017 at 11:41am

Hi Morgan,

It's the same with me 4 years, 8 months, nothing has changed, everyday I still feel nothing. Just waiting on Death.  

Comment by morgan on December 10, 2017 at 6:55pm

There's noting left to say after four years, ten months and 20 days. Nothing other than I daily plea with the universe to let me go. No matter what I do there really is no reason for it. There used to be because I wanted him to be proud of me or just share with me or I could support him and love him with all my heart. Now, no heart, no soul, just blank lifeless days of motion. No dialogue except occasional calls from 3 people still in my life. Reduced to watching tv and reading stupid shit on the computer to keep time passing by. Its no longer a matter of whether I think this will change because I know it will not. Its a matter of how long will I put up with it.

Comment by Robin Quinn on December 10, 2017 at 6:28pm

My husband would have been 55 today, going on 2 Year’s without him, I’ve hit a stage where I just feel empty. Hate holidays and nights. Just tired of being without him.

Comment by Bruce Armstrong on December 10, 2017 at 5:30pm

Been 5 Months and still broke long road ahead after 54 years she will be missed just one day at a time

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 10, 2017 at 5:08pm

I am so sorry for your lost Dawn. I lost my Husband 5 years to cancer and I believe it is the work of the devil. I still ache for him.

Comment by Dawn W on December 9, 2017 at 8:17pm

Thank you Nancy

so sorry for your loss

this cancer is a beast

we need to find the cure already

Comment by Nancy on December 9, 2017 at 8:05pm

So sorry Dawn W.  This will also be my first Christmas without my husband of 43 years. He passed May 10th after 7 months of cancer where he went downhill rapidly this past Jan.  So many unsaid things as he was confused off and on.  It is torture.  He was 66.  Out of the blue.  I was 20 when we married. Our 44th Anniversary would have also been this month on 29th.  I'm still in shock as I am sure you are too.  

Comment by Dawn W on December 9, 2017 at 7:49pm

He passed Nov 12, 2017

it was his 62nd birthday yesterday

now Christmas coming...

i can't do this my heart is broken...and I miss him so

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