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Comment by Trevy Thomas on June 4, 2018 at 3:27pm

Babie J is adorable. I had three dogs when my husband died. They saved me in many ways. One dog in particular, Lucy, seemed to have a real sense for what I was feeling then. Just this morning, my essay was published about her coming into my life just as my husband left it. If anyone would care to read my take on animals and grief, it's here:

http://www.drunkmonkeys.us/2017-posts/2018/6/4/essay-loosy-trevy-th...

Comment by bluebird on June 4, 2018 at 2:51pm

"I really don't live in this world anymore, I just exist."

This is SO true, Linda. 

I hope your pup is ok.

Comment by Linda Engberg on June 4, 2018 at 2:50pm

Hi L.O.

I know it is really hard to live without your Husband, we didn't have kids so that makes it worst, I have nothing left except my sweet little dog Babie J who is 13 years old and not doing well. So now I have to watch her suffer like I did my Husband. I really don't live in this world anymore, I just exist. 

Regards, Linda

Comment by L.O on June 4, 2018 at 1:03pm

I don't think i can cope anymore, i thought i was doing ok but im in bits. Im in pain all over but the drs cant find anything wrong, i miss him so much that the thought of never seeing him or even hearing his voice again is killing me. Iv been out to see old friends thinking this would help keep my mind busy but i still sleep alone, im still alone when the kids go to bed, the last one awake, the only one there for the kids. I don't how some of you have gone years when iv only gone a few months

Comment by Trina Mamoon on May 20, 2018 at 3:46pm

Beautiful, Linda! 

Comment by Nancy on May 20, 2018 at 11:33am

Love it. 

Comment by Linda Engberg on May 20, 2018 at 11:28am

Oops, forgot the picture 

Comment by Linda Engberg on May 20, 2018 at 11:26am

To all on this site.

This is hanging above my stove. Everyone of us had a royal wedding.

Comment by JenShep on May 20, 2018 at 9:22am

Alice, I totally understand what you’re expressing and I feel the same way although my certainty waxes and wanes. Sometimes I feel so good because I know he’s right here with me and sometimes I can’t feel it and sink back down into hell again. I’ve had a few amazing experiences where I’ve actually felt Tom climb in bed and wrap himself around me. I’ve heard him trying to talk to me - HIS voice. And then months will go by with nothing except my own “feeling” that he’s here. Or worse, my feeling that he’s not. I try the same thing - to push my thoughts to how things are now instead of the physical him that I am missing but it’s still so hard. I keep trying to learn to communicate with him. I meditate. I’ve tried Reiki. I’m just going to keep trying. Probably I’ll keep getting frustrated and sad but I feel like all I can do is keep trying. I guess I’ll just keep having the ups and downs. I just hope to get better at feeling him here. I wish I had been born with the ability like some seem to have been. I feel like my mission now while I’m still here is to learn to do this. 

Comment by Trina Mamoon on May 19, 2018 at 5:19pm

The royal wedding evoked similar feelings for me as John T. Joseph and I loved watching PBS shows, especially Masterpiece and Mystery, and we watched together the coverage of Princess Diana's tragic death and Prince William And Kate's wedding. So when Prince Harry shed tears, presumably, for his late mother I couldn't stop crying myself. It brought back anew so many memories with Joseph, our idyllic time together for 19 blessed years. I have reconciled myself to living out my life to its natural end. I pray every single day for my early death, but I can not take my own life: apart from being a woman of faith, I also can't subject my family to the kind of grief it would cause if I were to end my own life. Alas, I will have to go on living without my darling Joseph at my side. Please God, let it be soon.

The wedding was very moving. And like morgan, I, too, wish the royal couple much happiness and a long life together. May they know the kind of love that we, on this site, have known with our spouses.

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