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Comment by Angela on March 28, 2016 at 8:31pm

I have been away from this site for a while. The holidays did me in, I retreated. It was difficult and painful. My husband's 50th birthday was Feb. 2nd...that same day my 3 y/o cat dropped dead suddenly....why...why on my husband's birthday? Then 2 weeks later his aunt dies, then I had to put my 15 y/o dog down. All this loss has taken a toll on me. I don't know how or what to feel anymore. I feel empty and numb. I go through each day but feel nothing. Like I am on auto pilot. Things get done because they have to get done. Other than that...I sit and stare or go through drawers, meaningless activity.
Easter....well, Christians celebrate the resurrection and new life....why can Tom be resurrected and given new life...why did he have to die in the first place? There will never be an acceptable answer. I have to live out this life in misery because he is gone. It takes everything I have to give my boys the support they need. It is so hard to be strong for them...
In one month it will be 1 year and I just can't believe that. I am not sure how I will get through it. I don't know how I have survived so far.

Comment by Linda Engberg on March 28, 2016 at 3:07pm

Hello Everyone,

I don't think any of our pain, until we join our beloved.

Comment by stewart p on March 28, 2016 at 1:40pm

I'm curious there Morgan if you would like to share just a little about your "project" you are trying out.  Ive done many things during the past 3 years, paint the house, pick up new hobby, travel, whatever but here it is 3 years later and yes the Christmas tree still goes up and it comes down but for what reasons any longer I do not know.  I pay the bills and do the shopping but at the end of the day it holds little if any meaning.  Some days I wake up and I'm ready for it to be night again just to end the day.  So I'm always curious when someone mentions something new they might be trying out and was curious if you'd like to share your a little something about your project. 

Comment by O.L. Cato on March 28, 2016 at 11:23am

Joseph, I really do understand how you feel.  There are no words for the grief I (we) feel.  My life is over.  Yesterday was three months that he has been gone.  The pain is worse now than it was a month ago.  My children don't understand and give me a nasty look whenever I speak of their Dad.  I'm too much of a coward to do anything.  I wish he could have taken me with him.  Again, I do understand how you feel.

Comment by Joseph on March 28, 2016 at 11:06am

I can barely breath today.  I feel queasy and confused.  Tomorrow is my beautiful Jerry's scattering and I am a shattered shell.  I know people die and I tried to imagine what this would be like and I had no idea.  This is beyond hurt.  I want to scream.

Comment by stewart p on March 28, 2016 at 10:32am

I just wish all of you a good day as you can have and to let you know my thoughts and prayers are with you all.  This is truly a difficult and nearly unbearable rite of passage to endure and it is truly comforting to know that unfortunately we share this in common.

Comment by O.L. Cato on March 28, 2016 at 9:41am

I MISSED HIM YESTERDAY...I'LL MISS HIM THE REST OF MY LIFE.  NOTHNG WILL EVER BE THE SAME.  I LOVE YOU JOHN...ALWAYS

Comment by Linda Engberg on March 28, 2016 at 7:54am

It was just another lonely Easter for me even though I was with a friend. Holidays are not the same anymore without my beloved Husband.

Comment by Joseph on March 27, 2016 at 10:00pm

Thank you bluebird for the personal reply.  I read many posts on this site before commenting and I knew I had found a home. 

Comment by bluebird on March 27, 2016 at 2:50pm

Joseph,

I am sorry you are in this hell with us.  Know that at least you are not alone in feeling as you do, that the people here will at least have some of understanding of what this loss is like.

_____________________________________________________

Tildy,

I understand, as much as another person can. I feel much the same as you do. I'm sorry.

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