Comment

Comment by morgan on December 31, 2016 at 10:02pm

I sit listening to a show on TV with musicians singing and people celebrating.  I am approaching 4 years in 21 days.  I try so hard but I really never believe there is anything left for me anymore.  I try to believe it but then I realize how ridiculous it is to think life has anything for me.  I am simply taking up space.  No chance to do more than endure it.  So thats what I am doing.  I'm not sure it is happy, tolerable or miserable.  I  just wish he was here.  Every second, of almost four years, I wish he was here and that is never going to stop.  It overshadows everything I do.  I loved him more than life itself.  So another year I will endure it, hoping it stops soon.  There is nothing else to do.  

Comment by Michael on December 31, 2016 at 8:02pm

First New Years alone in 27. Heres what ive deduced. The chances of being happy again - 10 percent. The chsnces of living a somewhat tolerable life - 40 percent. The chances of being miserable til death - 50 percent.
Any comments?

Comment by Pamela philipp on December 26, 2016 at 9:58pm

Elynn no you didn't hurt my feelings it's just so hard still and my grandchildren are still grieving and can't talk about their grandpa without getting upset and as for me it's unbearable I sent a friend request to you with my apologies if I came off rude thank you for your input

Comment by Elynn m on December 26, 2016 at 9:38pm

Pamela,

   I am really sorry if I hurt your feelings.   What I said was just meant to be a comment, not a judgement.   I guess I should watch how I speak.   My comment was for myself too. I always have to remind myself that family is good to have around.

I have often put on fake faces because I try to convince others that i'm "ok", but most of my family can tell, by my voice, that i'm not ok!   They just put up with me!  I want to talk openly to them , but don't open up easily.   That's why I  find comfort with my grandchildren

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 23, 2016 at 10:35am

PATTI,

You are now in this group, all you do it post what you are feeling, no one will condemn what you post. We are all in the same boat and here to comfort one another.

Linda

Comment by Patti Hazen on December 23, 2016 at 10:11am

Trying to join this group but not so sure how

Comment by Pamela philipp on December 23, 2016 at 2:01am

Elynn I don't quite understand your response because if you know how I feel about the fake smiles then you would understand why I do it

Comment by Elynn m on December 22, 2016 at 11:18am

Pamela,

    It's good that your family is coming over.  You should not be alone for Christmas.    I know how you feel about the fake smiles as if everything is ok,  just try to open up to them, and express those feelings.   Don't be afraid to cry.  The grandchildren may be the best way to express yiurself.  Tell them that you miss Grandpa.  Remind them how much he loved them.  Children are so open and honest.   I still sign cards:  "from Nona and Grandom Joe".   It's hard, but they are so responsive.

Comment by Linda Engberg on December 22, 2016 at 7:29am

Morgan,

Everything you expressed is the same way I feel, all I do is wait for the day I will be united with my wonderful Husband. Everyday I just go through the motions.

Comment by Pamela philipp on December 21, 2016 at 8:25pm

Morgan I don't know what I can say except I know the pain and emptiness you feel it is true for me as well it's getting worse and worse it has been 15 months since my mom and husband passed and the pain is unbearable I don't know how I exsist the days just go by and The only thing keeping me here right now is the promise I made my husband i have become very reclusive I don't like going anywhere I find it extremely hard to go in public because then I realize I'm alone my husband and I were always together where I was he was and vice versa so to be alone now is just too much I wish there was some magic words I can say to make you feel better but unfortunately there's not I am so sorry for the loss you have suffered know we are here if you need ,please take care

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