Comment

Comment by stewart p on January 23, 2017 at 8:11pm

Bluebird, I agree and maybe Ill have to try the friend route more again, its just regardless of whether its with friends, a date a job, a coworker, relatives i find myself generally choosing to stay at home alone, even over the holidays.  I cant explain it other than that's what Ive been doing, but I will keep trying and try it again, see if  i go out with some friends sailing or something if perhaps maybe one of these days it doesn't finally kick start me or something.  Good reminder though, thanks

Comment by bluebird on January 23, 2017 at 6:14pm

stewart,

Do you think it might be helpful to you to just try to make some friends, rather than trying to date? There would be much less pressure involved.

Comment by stewart p on January 23, 2017 at 9:40am

Michael & John,  you guys both describe almost to a tee where and how i find myself feeling most days.  And john, double tough man im sorry for your pain, I watched the parameds do cpr, cant imagine if it had been me how that what feel as bad as i am today now. Im counting down to a big 4 years, and while ive "adjusted" or learned to "cope" I continually find it exceedingly difficult to put 2 or 3 days of consistent positive action together and move forward without asking myself 'whats the point', and frankly really not giving all that much of a damn whether i do something or not, from fixing the leaking roof to going to work to paying the water bill, or whatever. In fact most of those things are just an annoyance now any longer it seems and ive even thought of selling everything and just living in my car or somewhere real simple.  Ive gone out and joined networks, met nice women, applied for several jobs and around the 1st or 2nd day/date i just quit, leave, throw in the towel, flake out.  Im better about it now because i use to just avoid them, now i tell them im sorry and this is why and thanks for their time but i feel ike im broken and i keep trying but when its time for the rubber to meet the road i still find myself bowing out preferring to be all alone in a quiet space.   They are all nice people, I would of been grateful once upon a time to make their acquaintance, but now it always comes back to how i just want to be home alone in a dark corner of the house and just not do anything.

Comment by Linda Engberg on January 22, 2017 at 7:10am

Hi Jay,

Welcome to our group, we are not here to judge we are here to help one another.

Gob Bless, Linda

Comment by Jay Zimmermann on January 21, 2017 at 7:05pm

Thank you for responding.  Love is love no matter the shade of the rainbow.  I do hope to be able to get some help here.  What I have read in some of the articles and such has been great.  Thank you for your support.

Comment by John T. on January 21, 2017 at 6:23pm

I think bluebird is right.  I seem to remember a couple of people who lost same-sex soulmates posting here within the last year or so ago.  You may find, Jay,  the feelings expressed here by those who lost their spouse are much the same as your own.  I hope this group can be of some help.

Comment by bluebird on January 21, 2017 at 6:11pm

Jay,

I think there have been one or two people here who have lost a same-sex partner....not anyone that I've seen post regularly, though. 

Regardless -- same sex or opposite sex, it's all the same love and then the same pain when they die.  I'm truly sorry you are in this horrible situation too.

Comment by Michael on January 21, 2017 at 5:13pm

Jay
I haven't seen any posts from same-sex partners but im sure the feelings are the same. Everybody in this miserable boat is the sane.

Comment by Jay Zimmermann on January 21, 2017 at 4:14pm

Has anyone in this forum lost a same sex partner?  I lost my husband of a year and a half after we had been together over 31 years.  I am still in shock.  He passed away suddenly in October of 2016.  I was the one who found him at home, after I had been out shopping.

Comment by Kevin Bailey on January 21, 2017 at 3:29pm

Amen Linda, take care

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