Comment

Comment by John T. on February 1, 2017 at 2:36pm

Bluebird, I've had a problem with anxiety and depression all my life.  It seems that a profound loss like we have experienced really exacerbates those problems by intensifying them incredibly.  Along with devastating grief, trying to function with the rest on top of that is... I don't know how to describe it.

Comment by John T. on February 1, 2017 at 2:10pm

I hate Peach Snapple Ice Tea.  My wife loved it.  Here I am, over two years after losing her, with tears in my eyes because I saw it in the store and couldn't buy it for her.  And I feel guilty for telling her I thought it was terrible.  I am never prepared when these sort of things hit me.

Comment by bluebird on February 1, 2017 at 1:55pm

In my opinion, medication can help with the depression and anxiety which often follow the death of a spouse or other loved one. Speaking for myself, I had anxiety disorder and OCD long before my husband died, and would sometimes take medication for those issues (took Zoloft for a while, and at another time I took Prozac for a while).  

Now, I don't take either of those, though I am considering taking one again. I do have a prescription for Xanax, though I don't take them often -- I think the prescription was for 30 pills, so one month's worth if I took them every day, but I only take them when I feel a panic attack coming on, so they have lasted me for a year or so. I do also need something to sleep, though -- most nights I take two Benadryl, and on the really bad nights I take a Lunesta (sleeping pill).

Anyway, the death of a loved one is a horrible thing, so if you need a pill or whatever to help you get through the day or night, there's no shame in that. 

Comment by bluebird on February 1, 2017 at 1:44pm

morgan,

I am glad that my honesty was able to help you feel free to express your real feelings. {{{{hugs}}}}

I do worry about how honest I am here and elsewhere, as the last thing I would want would be for my pain and expression of it to make anyone else feel even worse than they already do.  I tend not to post in threads where the poster is looking for help on how to feel better, how to move on with her/his life, etc., because I cannot offer that sort of advice, so I feel as though it's better left to those who can, those who are in that sort of position. But in my own thread, or in the threads of people who seem to feel as I do and/or who are asking for some validation that they are not insane, and/or that someone else is having the same kinds of feelings they are, I feel ok posting, because I feel that I may be able to offer something. 

So, to hear that my posts have helped you to feel more free to post about your own feelings, is good to hear. 

Comment by Fran on February 1, 2017 at 12:22pm

I stayed away from being medicated and probably should not have. I would have mini-panic attacks. I worked thru it but still have lots of trouble making decisions, even after 2 years. I guess I figured that being depressed and anxious was normal after losing my husband...

Comment by Linda Engberg on February 1, 2017 at 7:05am

Hi Stacy,

I have been taking meds since the doctor first told us he had colon cancer. I can say it does not take my grief away, but it helps me function in the world. 

Comment by John T. on January 31, 2017 at 8:51pm

I was prescribed Xanax at first but after about 6 months I had to taper down to a lower dose.  It was very helpful with anxiety, especially the panic attacks I was having.  I believe it was the only thing that kept me functioning.  Everything I've learned supports Chum's observation.  Medication doesn't block out grief but it can ease the terrible depression and anxiety at least to the point you can function a bit more easily.  Usually, medication is most effective with therapy.  

Comment by Chum on January 31, 2017 at 8:35pm

An anti anxiety was a life saver for me. Medication doesn't delay your process it takes the edge off so that you don't devolve into tears and sadness during really bad emotional spells. I found the tears and emotional upset so debilitating.

Comment by Michael on January 31, 2017 at 8:05pm

Not sure but i think most get on medication after a while. At least many here on this site do.

Comment by Stacey White on January 31, 2017 at 7:58pm

Curious to know what people think about getting medication.  Has it been helpful or do you feel like it prolongs your grief?

It took everything I had today to take my daughter to the doctor as I suspected she had the flu.  She did.  Then we had to go to the pharmacy to get the medicine.

All I wanted to do was go home and get back into bed.

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