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Comment by Denise on March 12, 2017 at 9:37pm

John -

We will never forget your Diane's name.

When I dream about my husband George, I never see his face, I always see how he made me feel. I feel his warmth and love and when I wake up for the briefest of moments I will try to recall the dream hoping to remember seeing his face. Have no idea why I never see George although I KNOW he was in the dream.

Comment by Louise on March 12, 2017 at 5:56pm

John T

I've had a few dreams about my husband. One shook me up a couple of weeks ago, I was hosting a dinner party and my friends were there and my husband. We were sitting around the dinner table, my husband was at the opposite end from me which upset me in the dream because he always sat next to me. And everyone was talking and I kept calling to him and trying to wave at him from across the table but he couldn't hear me or wouldn't look at me. I tried to move closer to him but I couldn't. I remember feeling so relieved that he was there and anxious to talk to him and hold him. I wanted all of my friends to shut up and leave. I felt bereft when I woke up and cried. All I can say is: {{{hugs}}}

Comment by bluebird on March 12, 2017 at 5:32pm

{{{{John}}}}

We understand. Of course you will never forget.  It's just your subconscious trying to make sense of your hellish situation, trying to work out why she isn't here.

Comment by John T. on March 12, 2017 at 4:56pm

I had the most horrific nightmare last night.  I have only dreamed of my wife a few times but this has really shaken me.  We were at work and I was looking into Diane's face and trying to tell her I can't remember your name.  I recognized her but I couldn't remember her name.  In the dream, I couldn't get her to listen to me as I tried to tell her how awful I felt.  When I woke up, I felt sick.  I'm not really sure what it meant but I need to tell someone to know I will never forget Diane.  Never.  She is in my heart every single day.  I tried to tell my sister about this today and her response was absolutely nothing but a change of subject.  I just needed all of you to know her name is Diane and I will not forget.

Comment by Maxey on March 12, 2017 at 4:43pm

You said it all, Anne. Love has to do with it. Without it, I feel like a robot. No touch, to hugs, no sex, and no kisses - what is life without these things from your beloved?
Hope to hear more from you.

Comment by Linda Engberg on March 11, 2017 at 6:28am

Same here Maxey & Bluebird.

Comment by bluebird on March 10, 2017 at 6:50pm

That's just how it is for me too, Maxey.

Comment by Maxey on March 9, 2017 at 1:18pm

I think that the longer one is married, the more dependent he/she becomes on a spouse. We start to see the world the same, we think alike, and I have read the studies even show that our hearts start to beat in sync. When you have lived so many years with that one person who makes you happy and complete, the loss is just too great to overcome. I think I have had my life and this is now purgatory where I must sit and wait to end it all.
If someone, today, cut off our right hand, or took our sight away, what would or could we do? That is how I feel every day - my husband was taken away and I no longer can function ever again.
I am at a point where I cannot learn to live a new life, and I really don't want to. I find that with each month that goes by, (16 of them) I get worse. I don't have any energy or will to do anything. I sleep as long as I can, I get up and look around, then I cry at the loneliness of the day, then I watch TV or try to read, then bed again. What an empty, futile life!
I, too, am waiting for it to end.

Comment by Stacey White on March 2, 2017 at 6:46pm

What do we do now? Why is there not a playbook with step by step instructions on getting past this gut wrenching pain. If you diligently follow it then the pain will at least become manageable? How do you know you are not damaging your children or at the very least not support them in their pain? I want to do the right things to not hinder our journey to live a new normal again. Sorry for the ramblings..

Comment by Linda Engberg on March 2, 2017 at 3:12pm

Hi Morgan,

I don't know if I could take losing her, it will be the end of me. 

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