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Comment by Kathleen Jordan on April 23, 2017 at 9:58pm

Crystal...the puppies and the kids keep you going...my daughter got married this weekend. I don't think she realized that the actual date of her marriage was 6 months after my hunny died.And, luckily, or  torment,not sure...my folks have had to move in with me until the mold is out of their trailer.   they tried to go  back the other day and it really hurt.  It felt like I lost him all  over again.  normal doesn't seem to be normal yet.

Comment by Crystal on April 23, 2017 at 8:23pm

I just lost my spouse March 17th. A little over a month. It still feels surreal. I am still on meds so I'm not sure if I'm numb or in denial. People keep saying I am taking it so well. Well, they don't see what goes on when I go home. I wander around looking for things to do. I feel lost in my own space. I adopted a 2 month old puppy this week, thinking it would help my dog who was very depressed over my husbands passing, as they have spent the last 3 years together, all day, every day, as his cancer kept him from working. The puppy did help. I see a spark in my dogs eyes I hadn't seen in weeks. Which makes me feel accomplished. And ithink it'll make me feel better too, now that I have something to come home to to take care of, as my oldr dogs are very self sufficient and I have a 15 year old son
I just feel like the other shoes gonna drop and I'm gonna lose my mind. Cause I am coping ok, but I feel like it's going to get much worse.
I had to do electrical hook up stuff today and it made me miss my hisband uncontrollably, since he was so tech savvy. But I refused to ask for help, as I need to learn to do these things on my own.
The new normal
Sucks.

Comment by Jerry on April 23, 2017 at 8:13pm

Here in the central midwest to a formally known as a beautiful spring weekend. My wife a couldn't get to thus season fast enough, now 12 Saturday's ago I knew I dread this weather. Soooo painful to continue as a spectator of this now, CRAP world I am in, hate it, just hate it. Only 53 yrs old' and couldn't give a damn about tomorrows. Rain,Shine,Snow,Sleet,Day,Night,...it's all hell now, consider it our "normal"

Comment by Jackie cooke on April 16, 2017 at 6:47am

I can't see any point in anything, I have never been alone, I was with my partner from the age of 16 and I'm now 51. There's no money to speak off and paying the bills is scary. I feel for you bonnie I really do, I to keep feeding the birds as it's something we were both passionate about, but there is no joy in it now. If i hadn't got my dog and cat to care for i would have made sure I left here to go with my love, but there is no one else to care for,them. So I just go through the motions like a robot day after day with no end of this torture in site

Comment by Bonnie Gould on April 16, 2017 at 5:27am

I'm trying to find something of beauty left in life - maybe a cardinal at my bird feeder or the sunset beyond the trees as I feed the dogs on the porch at night. Those small moments are what I'm counting on to help me hang on to life. My husband died just over 3 weeks ago after a 3 month battle with brain cancer. For 3 months he'd been unable to walk, see much, and think completely rationally. I could take care of him then, but now..... I feel like a kid whose parents have just died and has been thrown out into the world to raise themselves. I feel adrift, alone, and scared about the future. Although all the platitudes that people say haven't helped, I'm hoping that in the future my faith may return so that I feel some hope and comfort.

Comment by Jackie cooke on April 14, 2017 at 9:06am

I had the Saturday morning normal, just doing normal things, then my world ended . How come rapist and murders and child abusers stay living

Comment by Jackie cooke on April 14, 2017 at 8:30am

I was just thinking the same, this time 5 week ago was a normal mundane Friday, usual boring jobs, nothing exciting, oh how I want it all back

Comment by Jackie cooke on April 14, 2017 at 8:29am

I'm sitting here alone wishing I could get sick, how wrong is that, but I just don't want to carry on

Comment by Jackie cooke on April 14, 2017 at 2:28am

I know Jerry, we have a huge garden and spent hours together working in it, our green house sinful, of all our plans for this year, baskets waiting to be filled. I got no interest now.

Comments I have recieved, least you got summer coming up! Least it's light nights. Neither of these th it's help me at all. It's 5 weeks tomorrow since my life ended and everyday is worse than the first

Comment by Kevin Bailey on April 13, 2017 at 5:09pm

I hate sunny days, when I see couples holding hands and walking their dog or just outside enjoying the weather, I tear up and soon sin sink even deeper into this quicksand of depression. Rainy, stormy days match my mood better. I look forward to the nighttime so I can sleep and maybe just maybe see my beautiful wife again. I can't lie, when I hear about people dying now, I do become a little envious because they're going to where my beautiful wife is. I'll get there in good time though, I gotta be here for my kids for now, even though I don't like this party anymore and want to go home.

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