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Comment by Kathleen Jordan on April 26, 2017 at 9:01pm

Crystal...you were lucky to have enough  time to learn while he was on hospice....I had 3  whole days of coherence.  But, I seriously did appreciate  it, even though he thought he was going to make 6 months

Comment by Crystal on April 26, 2017 at 5:40pm

Same here. I've never been on my own. His beING on hospice , though he was able to stay at home, he was completely immobile, so I learned how to do all the things most men would do naturally, even paying bills, which I never have done. So he basically prepared me for this, because he still supported me and was able to help me when I would get stuck , so Im grateful for that, it's liberating and terrifing all at once. I know I CAN do it, I just don't want to.

Comment by Jackie cooke on April 26, 2017 at 4:13pm

I know, it shouldn't have happend and the thought of another 30 odd years alone terrifies me

Comment by Crystal on April 26, 2017 at 3:56pm

When I said "til death do us part" during our wedding vows, I never thought that that would ever happen.. I didn't mean it. He's still apart of me.

Comment by Jackie cooke on April 26, 2017 at 2:36pm

I'm just the same,,it's still we, us, ours I don't want to be I, me or mine. I signed an email jackie n Shirl the other day, realised what I'd done and it nearly killed me. I never want to be a single person

Comment by M Adams on April 26, 2017 at 2:16pm

Not sure what is normal, but I do that too -- it's normal to me and I haven't tried to change it. It's not so much that I can't bring myself to use the past tense, more that the present still seems natural to me when something that includes my husband comes up. I still also talk about things that we do, rather than did, or that we like, rather than liked. I haven't had anyone query it, but I'm not very socially or conversationally engaged these days.

Comment by Crystal on April 26, 2017 at 2:01pm

Does anybody else here have issues with talking about your spouse as if they are still with us? I can't bring myself to use my husbands name in the form of the past. I still say things like "my husband and I like...' or "ben IS a big fan of......" or "his favorite food IS...." . Is this normal?

Comment by Chum on April 26, 2017 at 6:35am

I

Comment by Jerry on April 25, 2017 at 11:40am

Take Your Time Tuesday . . .

Comment by Crystal on April 23, 2017 at 10:06pm

I've been heartbroken before, I've been through a painful divorce, my daughter moving out to be with her dad, my parents divorced, 3 surgeries and nothing hurts like the loss of spouse . Nothing. All that other stuff roled up together doesn't even compare. The loneliness. It's terrible.

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