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Comment by michael sandoval on January 2, 2011 at 5:47pm

Hi All. The last few days, the entire holiday season has been really horrible. The new year has not been happy and happiness is something I cannot remember very well. I really hope that this heavy sadness and depression will subside soon. It's been over a year for me since I lost my Denise and sometimes I feel like it is just too much for me.

Comment by Shawna Shuler on December 22, 2010 at 8:11pm

Hi Im Shawn,  I recently lost my fiance 11-13-10 he suffered a year long battle with lung cancer he was diagnosed in 12-09 he was at stage 3 b he did his chemo and radiation and we thought he was getting better.  His doctors were optomistic but 6 months later it traveled to his brain they gave him 2 years.  He was in and out of the hospital 3 or 4 x a month and when he was home I did my best to take care of him.  About 6 months after that we found it had traveled to his spine as well once that was diagnosed he deteriorated so fast.  He went into a coma the morning of 11-13-10 and I was told he would stay that way but he might rally one last time...he died in our home with our two young sons awake at 8:15pm that night.  I dont know how to deal with all this right now i just feel numb and like Im in a daze but yet Im angry and I just dont know just wish I could turn back time and have him back he was my best friend, my soul mate, my childrens father, my everything

Comment by michael sandoval on December 22, 2010 at 6:46pm

Denise and I met in April 08 and by June of 08 we were living together and wanting to get married.  we celebrated Christmas together and planned our trip to India.  She felt sick just before we left for India, was sick for most of the three weeks we were in India.  We we came back she was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and had surgery on 21 may 09.  Complications set in and after just one Chemo therapy session, she passed away on 21sept09.  I haven't been the same since.  And sometimes i feel like I am getting worse.

Comment by Tabatha K. on August 4, 2010 at 11:33pm

Hello! I lost my Pops almost 10 mths ago after a battle w/ liver cancer. We found out in July & he passed away in October ( on my niece's birthday). I thought the ache was supposed to ease over time??!! The hole in my chest continues to ravage me & at the oddest times.

Comment by K on July 24, 2010 at 4:46am

My name is Kimberly. I'm 24 years old and living in the beautiful Bay Area of California. I'm getting married September 12, 2010 to my best friend, my other half, and for that, I am extremely exciting. Photography is my passion and after September, I am starting my own freelance company. I'm extremely exciting for that, too.


I'm on Online Grief Support because February 12, 2010, I lost my grandfather after a long and painful illness. His end was not a pleasant one and though I will never regret being by his side during his pain, it DID have a profound affect on me. It has been very difficult, to say the least. He was my friend, my mentor, my guide in life, my strength, a father-figure, and my angel. I'm trying to learn how to live with the loss of him.

So...that's me.

Comment by roxydee on July 21, 2010 at 2:12pm

My best friend and husband passed away 1.29.09. He died of hepatitis c end of life liver damage officially but possibly it was because his heart was broken. It's hard to put into words the horrific journey that started 2/29/08, with a pitstop from 12/9/08 and ended 1/29/09. I flew out to pick up my husband from a hospital in Michigan to home in California...Having him incarcerated 10 months unfairly only to return home to die - words can't express how angry and hurt i feel. Our wedding anniversary was on Monday, 7.19.10 and I don't know how to bear this aching that's dragging me downward again into a grief spiral. I am so angry and hurt. But it doesn't seem to end. This pain is as fresh as it was 1/29/09 and doesn't skip a beat...nor has it diminished. I still hate the heavens for taking him away, for eclipsing my joy and for ripping away the source of the most beautiful love I've ever known.

Comment by Lilly pizer on April 20, 2010 at 6:57pm

I lost my husband 11 years ago, my daughter was 8months old at the time. He had cancer and despite treatments, surgery, etc. He was considered terminal and ended up taking his life. Its been hard to be a single mom, its been hard to know that he made a choice to leave us, In my heart I believed he would get better, I have blamed God, I have blamed myself for not seeing the signs that were so obviosly present, but somehow I have been able to keep on plugging through this life... Of course i have a wonderful daughter that has been my main purpose for everything that I have accomplished after he died. I recently lost my best friend to ovarian cancer. Which has taken me back to that very lonely dark place and that is why I am here. I think I have a fear of connecting with people...because you just never know when they are going to leave you. I don't think the ache ever subsides its always there, you just dont notice it as much. Kind of like when you walk into a room that has some smelly garbage in it... you notice it right away, but the longer you are in the room the less you notice it. I know that is a weird analogy.... Besides my daughter, my life is pretty empty and I am just feeling like there is not much to look forward to. I started thinking that she is going to be 12 soon and when I really stop and think I have about 6 years with her and then she will be off to college, getting married, etc and I've taken a real deep look at my life and wonder what am I going to do with myself when she is gone... I don't have a life without her. That is really sad. Any thoughts?

Comment by Jodi Cole on March 7, 2010 at 12:22pm

Hi I'm Jodi and I'm here because I lost my mom who was my best friend six weeks ago tomorrow. She had lung cancer and the doctors told us that she only had probably 3 months to live and that's approximately what she lived. We watched her slowly day by day get a little worse until the end came and now that she's gone I just miss her so much and it seems to be getting worse as the time goes on.

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