Comment

Comment by anne on November 4, 2010 at 5:53pm

Dear Karen you are so wise about the religious thing. Thank you for being brave enough to speak about itin this way. While reading your note to everyone I felt a connection with you. I woud like to be friends with you if you want to.

Comment by Sharon Reynolds on November 4, 2010 at 11:51am

Hi Denise-I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel about the upcoming holidays. Gary and I spent every spare moment together during this time of the year and, like you, I am feeling that same thought about how horrible this can be. I tried to start some Christmas shopping yesterday and I know people in JCPenney's were wondering about the crazy lady talking to herself and crying about nothing. I wish I had words of wisdom that could make this better for you but I don't. I just hope that it helps some to know that there are folks out there who care about what you are feeling and truly understand because they are there with you. My only child was found on August 23 and I understand what you mean about how you feel and hating it. I will keep you in my prayers that you may find some comfort and peace. Sharon

Comment by Denise Crouse on November 4, 2010 at 10:35am

Saturday will be 8 weeks since my son passed away. I hate the way I feel everyday. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life like this. Robby was the youngest of 5. He was only 15 years old. I know my other children are hurting and I don't know how to help them. I feel like I can barely take care of myself. My other children all live outside the house and I live alone. I think about Robby every second of the day. I have done a lot of reading on the death of a child and I have went to some support groups but most meet once a month and that doesn't seem often enough. The thought of the holidays coming is horrible.

Comment by Kar on November 3, 2010 at 8:03pm

*** NOTE TO THE GROUP *** Please keep in mind everyone- That we all have a right to our beliefs - Spiritual etc... It is wonderful if you have kept your faith through your loss- But- not everyone has- & if you preach you can be pushing the people away that may just need understanding the most. We as parents are all suffering the worst lost ever & have a right to grieve & reach out to others that understand without a preaching reply. ( We can go to clergy if we want that) You may be trying to help but- that is not always the case.

Comment by Kar on November 3, 2010 at 7:46pm

That is what this page is for Ken - we all understand (hug to you & your family) from ours. So sorry about your daughter - I relate to what you are saying, only my husband goes off to work & I am at home. we just hit the 3year mark - which I still do not believe- I just cant except this. Life hurts so much now.

Comment by Ken Ciolek on November 3, 2010 at 9:45am

Last week was 10 months since my daughter passed away and for myself it only seems to be getting worse, I miss her so much. It really sucks because I have to keep going because the world around us doesn't stop, I have to work make sure my son and wife are okay and bills are paid. It's good and its bad, work keeps me occupied and mind off of it sometimes but there are alot of morning that it is hard to get going. It does build up and when I do get a chance to grief it is so bad and could cry for hours. Her 19th birthday is next week and 2 days after Christmas it will be a year, this is goign to be the hardest to get through.

I feel so bad for my wife, I know it is different for a mother and have no idea the pain and suffering she is feeling.. She is so strong when i am around but can only imagine what she feels when i am at work and son is at school. She isnt working which only makes it worse. She never griefs in front of me so I don't know what to say or do...this is so hard.

Sorry just venting a bit.

Comment by Ann Edmondson on October 28, 2010 at 2:06pm

Sharon- you are not alone about the giant mixer! It has bee nearly 4 years since I lost my son. I am still having days of confusion, anger, depression and sometimes all of those at once. Some days I just want to turn into a ball and cry and others I feel ok then get mad at myself for feeling ok. Yeah I would join one of those gripe forums too!

Comment by Sharon Reynolds on October 28, 2010 at 6:56am

Thank all of you for sharing the fact that you are angry. I am so angry that if I tried to write it the folks managing this site would terminate me for the language and the craziness that would spew. I would join a bitch forum in a minute!! Does anyone else feel like there is a giant "mixer" inside them churning the guts and just leaving you nauseous. Even on what I call a good day I feel like I am on pins and needles and Xanax only made me "stupid" without easing the feelings. Anyone?

Comment by coachlouise on October 26, 2010 at 6:49pm

Dear Anne, Thank you for saying your angry. When we try to stuff it inside it only makes us sick. Remember how Jesus said be child like, well all children get mad, when they have something they love taken away from them. Beat up a pillow, scream at God, or the moon in the sky, you have a right to be mad. Perhaps we should start a bitch forum, a place to write our anger, and let it out. I think everyone would understand.
Dear Sheryl, Lee am sure is proud of you.
Dear Sharon, thank you for sharing your report, I hear and understand why this was a small measure of comfort.

Comment by Sharon Reynolds on October 26, 2010 at 12:13pm

I guess I have a small reason to be thankful (that is what I am struggling with today-remembering to find something positive in each day). The detective called a few days ago. They got the tox screen back on my son-he was negative for drugs and the alcohol level indicated maybe one or two drinks. They have ruled out murder, suicide, drugs and alcohol. So even though the ME has to list it as COD: Undetermined, I know that my son died a natural death. Don't get me wrong, this does not make him being dead "ok" but what it does is bring me a small measure of comfort to know that he did not do anything to contribute to his own death. It also tells me that it had to be natural causes which means that I didn't miss something-I could not have prevented his death-I am not guilty. That has been eating me inside out for the two months since we learned our only child was dead, found in the woods-alone. I thank God for this small measure of comfort.

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