gave his life that we are free..

Ann I appreciate your words.  I am thinking about helping out with developing a hockey youth group.  A group for kids who may not have the skills to be on a team but the passion to play.  My son loved hockey.  I know who heads the league he played for when he was younger.  I am pretty sure I can help raise funds to get it started.  I just need to process this.  I think once I make it past this first year I will be able to get on a better path.  Right now I am grieving and missing him awful.

Right now I have to hold onto my faith because I need to think of my son in heaven with my father.  I won't lie and say I haven't questioned.

My Michael was 29 years old.  On 9/14/12 we spoke on the phone for 2 hours as we did on many occasions.  He went from one subject to the next telling me what he wanted from his future.  He told me he had a side job to do in the morning and needed to get in the shower.  Monday when he didn't show up for work his father went to find out why.  He found my son on his bedroom floor with the phone in his hand.  The really messed up part is my last words to my son were, "If anything ever happened to you or your sister I would never be able to breathe again." His response was, "Same goes here mom, I wouldn't be able to breathe without you either." We said I love you and Good Bye.  If only I knew that was the only good bye I would get. Doesn't he know I can't breathe?

Ann, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved son~

No Ann I don't have any friends on grief support. I have a hard time dealing with my sons death. He hung himself at the age of 13. He was playing one of those choking games and never woke up. It has been a year and it is getting harder every day. I don't really talk about it. I have agoraphobia and it is so much worse that when my son was here. Now i loose sleep and get really sick to even open the window. I miss him so much.