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Comment by Margaret Ann Puckett on May 23, 2011 at 1:47pm

Dear Norma & Ann,  Thanks for your comments.  I am so glad you enjoyed the poem.  I know how very much pain you are all in.  No matter what it just does not go away.  This past week was very hard. So many anniversarys didn't help.  It has been 1 year already for my Brian & it seems like it just happened.  Everyone says I am so strong but I just don't let them no I am not really.  I try so hard but it just hurts so bad.  Will we ever know why?  I don;t think so until it is our turn to join them.  So many mean & ugly people out there why do nice people like us have to suffer & not them??  I'm sorry but its just one of those days.  I ask God every day for strength but I am still not accepting all of it.  Just remember you are all in my thoughts & prayers & any way I can help plz feel free to contact me.  My email again is dalesmom333@yahoo.com  I have to get off the puter for now but I will be back.  Love & God's Blessings to all.. Maggie

Comment by Ammy on May 21, 2011 at 1:37pm

That is a beautiful poem Margaret.  Thanks for sharing it.  Someone had given it to me also when our son died.  I use to read it often, but lately everything seems fresh again.  I think the stress of thinking about his birthday and Father's day next month are already starting the anxiety.  Then in July we will hit our one year mark.  It's hard to believe how much time has gone by and the pain is still so fresh.  I am praying for you and all that are going through grief.  I know the trial will be hard for you.  Remind us when the time comes.  Blessings to you also, Ann

Comment by Margaret Ann Puckett on May 21, 2011 at 1:13pm

Hello everyone,  Here is the poem I said I would send.  I really hope it helps everyone as it still does me.  I won't be online today as Brians friends are having a memorial get together for him so I will be gone.  Enjoy & have a wonderful day. Love & God's Blessings to all. To My Dear Family Some things I'd like to say, But first of all to let you know That I arrived okay. I'm writing this from Heaven Where I dwell with God above, Where there's no more tears or sadness There is just eternal love. Please do not be unhappy Just because I'm out of sight, Remember that I'm with you Every morning, noon and night. That day I had to leave you When my life on Earth was through, God picked me up and hugged me And He said I welcome you. It's good to have you back again You were missed while you were gone, As for your dearest family They'll be here later on. I need you here so badly As part of My big plan, There's so much that we have to do To help our mortal man. Then God gave me a list of things He wished for me to do, And foremost on that list of mine Is to watch and care for you. And I will be beside you Every day and week and year, And when you're sad I'm standing there To wipe away the tear. And when you lie in bed at night The days chores put to flight, God and I are closest to you In the middle of the night. When you think of my life on Earth And all those loving years, Because you're only human They are bound to bring you tears. But do not be afraid to cry It does relieve the pain, Remember there would be no flowers Unless there was some rain. I wish that I could tell you Of all that God has planned, But if I were to tell you You wouldn't understand. But one thing is for certain Though my life on Earth is o're, I am closer to you now Than I ever was before. And to my very many friends Trust God knows what is best, I'm still not far away from you I'm just beyond the crest. There are rocky roads ahead of you And many hills to climb, But together we can do it Taking one day at a time. It was always my philosophy And I'd like it for you, too, That as you give unto the world So the world will give to you. If you can help somebody Who is in sorrow or in pain, Then you can say to God at night My day was not in vain. And now I am contented That my life it was worthwhile, Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile. So if you meet somebody Who is down and feeling low, Just lend a hand to pick him up As on your way you go. When you are walking down the street And you've got me on your mind, I'm walking in your footsteps Only half a step behind. And when you feel the gentle breeze Or the wind upon your face, That's me giving you a great big hug Or just a soft embrace. And when it's time for you to go From that body to be free, Remember you're not going You are coming here to me. And I will always love you From that land way up above, Will be in touch again soon P.S. God sends his love.

Comment by Margaret Ann Puckett on May 21, 2011 at 12:23am

Thank You Karen & Norma for your comments & support.  Yes it is hard for all of us but if it wasn't for God seeing us through I guess we would just give up.  He has a reason for each of us to be here & maybe it is to meet each other & help all who we can.  I have good & bad days & I guess the crying now & then is a good release.  I do try to understand but still can't but I'm sure God will show me when He feels I am ready.  Thursday was my 2nd son's 1st year anniversary & I am still having a hard time with it.  The trial for his murderer is coming up in June if they don't put it off again.  Maybe it will give us some closure or maybe not but I will be glad when it is over & justice is served.  Tomorrow I am going to post the beautiful poem that was given to me that has really helped me a lot.  It is a bit long but definately worth the read.  I feel like it came to me right from my Brian & when I really feel bad I read it again & feel like he is with me in a way.  I hope it can help everyone feel the same.  My love & prayers to everyone.  I'll be back Sat.. Good Night & God Bless

Comment by Karen R. on May 17, 2011 at 7:58pm

Hello Margaret, you are more than welcomed. I will email you soon, thanks very much. Also, hello to everyone, I think about you all, always. Thanks for everyone's help.

Comment by Margaret Ann Puckett on May 16, 2011 at 9:15pm

Dear Karen,  Thank you so much for writing back.  I am so glad you have your little daughter to distract you some as I have my dear granddaughter who is such a comfort.  I feel like she is my little guardian angel who just knows what to say & when to say it.  She is so wise for her 5 years. She has had to watch her mom & I go through so much.  I try to stay cheerful around her.  I know how everyone feels about wanting them back.  How can we not.  I added my email to my last note if you would like to write me I can tell you how it happened.  I also have a beautiful poem that a friend of mine sent me that I felt came right from my son.  it is long but worth the read.  I have to say it does help me to read it when I'm at my worse.  I have to go to bed now as I have a migraine & can hardly see but I will be back on tomorrow.  Hope to hear from you in my email.  Thanks again for your support & understanding.  God Bless & Love, Maggie

Comment by Karen R. on May 16, 2011 at 8:15pm

Greetings Margaret, I can not begin to imagine such a multitude of losses! I don't where all my strength comes from after losing my 21yr old son. I could only credit it to my now young 7 yr old and the distraction I have by volunteering in her class. I am sure that has to be that. I was feeling extra down the Friday before this Mother's Day and I think my son that I loss sent me a gift. That Friday, her class mates were making Mother's Day cards and sadly, there was one little boy who said that he couldn't make a card because he longer had a mommy..... he said my mom died! Whats left of my heart just began to crumble, I tried to hold back my tears and then he asked me so innocently if he could make one for me! He siad that I was always nice to him like his mom would have been. That really helped me get through that whole weekend. I have always had such a special attachment to him since the beginning of the school year, even before I learned that his mom passed away. I do believe that my son has come to me in dreams before to try to comfort me but truthfully speaking, I end up not being comforted because I become so angry when I realize it was only a dream. There has been at least 2 incidences when my son physically turned a night lite on and off multiple times and once I could hear him breathing right next to me laying in my bed. They were definately NOT dreams, I was fully awake and my little daughter also was a witness to those occurances. She knew right away that it was her big brother. I will NEVER be able to accept what has happened to my son, it will will NEVER be "OK" with me. I can't think of one acceptable reason for this happening. Not only do I just want my son back, I want it to be that the whole thing NEVER happened. 

I am always willing to listen and my heart aches for you and everyone else that is dealing with such grief.

Comment by Margaret Ann Puckett on May 16, 2011 at 12:46pm

Hello Everyone,

Well, this is the dreaded month for me.  May 5th 3 yrs ago I lost my brother David 53, today May 16th, 1993, my sister Kathy 50 & May 16th 1997 my oldest son Dale 29 then May 18th would have been Dale's birthday & May 19th last year my 2nd son Brian 34 was murdered. April & June aren't much better.  April 12th, 2009, I lost my niece Traci 35 who was also 5 months pregnant with her 1st child & April 25th this year I had to put my sweet little dog Misty, whom I had for 14 years down then June 23rd, 1998 my husband Doyle 61 passed. They were all so young.  The sadness just keeps coming.  Everyone keeps saying I am so strong but they just don't know how dead I feel inside.  I loved them all so very much.  If it wasn't for having my beautiful daughter Christina & 5 yr old granddaughter, Madison I just don't think I could go on.

I am sorry for rambling on but its just another bad day & I had to get it off of my chest & I know you all understand.  I feel so bad for everyone when I read your storys.  I really wish I could help you all but all I can do is keep you all in my prayers which is another thing that keeps me going.  I ask God every day to give me the strength to keep going & stop being so depressed.  I believe in the afterlife & I've seen where people have had their loved ones come to them.  Has anyone here ever had a visit?

Thanks for being here & listening & letting me ramble on.  God Bless You all & if you ever need anything please feel free to email me at: dalesmom333@yahoo.com.  You all remain in my prayers.  Maggie  

Comment by Karen R. on May 5, 2011 at 5:34pm

Thanks Norma for your concern and kind words. I can not think of one single thing that could happen to any human.......losing your child, who would sign up for this! !!!! I want my son back too!!! I really want it to be that none of this ever happened!!!!

Comment by Karen R. on May 5, 2011 at 5:27pm

Oh my dear Kim J., how sorry I am about your tremendous loss. I agree with you that they were all "boys", they hadn't even begun to live their lives yet. I know your pain all too well, as well as many others on this site........unfortunately. I am suffering from the loss of my baby, my 21yr old son. He was riding a friend's motorcycle on a residential street when he was chased and rammed into another car and he was wearing a helmet. He was in ICU for a week before he passed away. My pain and my sadness is ever present.There were many days that I wanted to end my own life because my pain and torment were too much to bare but I decided NOT to cause my other children any additional pain. I have not been able to except what has happened to my son. These boys think that they are invincible, nothing could ever happen to them. I begged my son not to ever get on that other boys bike. we had a huge arguement about it and about 5 days after that, he ended up in the Intensive Care Unit fighting for his life. This whole thing is one big nightmare that I cant seem to wake up out of. This site helps me in the sense that there are others that understand and my thoughts and feelings are validated. Once again, so sorry.

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