Bonnie ~ I truly understand the pain you are going through. Loosing a child is the hardest thing any parent can suffer. Don't think for a minute that just because "it's been a year" that you are supposed to magically transform and forget the pain. My son died four and a half years ago. There are still times when I cry myself to sleep. There are times when I dream that he is home -- then I wake up and suffer the anguish all over again. We are here to help you any way we can on Online Grief Support. While we may be separated by miles, we are all as close as the internet allows. You can say anything on these pages and no one will judge you! We all help each other in our grief. You mentioned that you have Agoraphobia (please forgive me if I misspelled it.). Is this the physical challenge of fear to be in crowds. If not, could you explain it to me. I am not very familiar with this phobia. Personally I am claustrophobic (fear of being in tight places). I am willing to chat with you via Facebook or directly with my Email also. My Email is ann.edmondson@yahoo.com. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help. I always have a listening heart and am here for you. ~Ann