Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
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Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.
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Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.
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Melissa, the last thing right now is for your to put on a face you just lost your daughter cry scream talk do what ever you have to do to make it thru the next hour, your true friends and family will be there to pick you up, and we are here for you to vent to i lost my son 7 months ago and it still seems like yesterday he was only 17
I wish to offer my condolences to all families. May God give you and your family peace and comfort during this time. God Bless you all!
We had a Celebration of Life dinner and held a small ceremony at the gravesite in honor of Kashmir's 21st birthday. My daughter's best friends did a wonderful job putting everything together. So many people came out! I was overwhelmed with the love shown for Kashmir. That turned a rough day into a great day.
Birthdays...........for my son's 1st birthday since he left us, we had a small birthday celebration or life celebration at home. Every minute leading up to it, I felt like I was going to call everyone and cancel it. I started to feel like was just going to lock my self up in my room but then I became eager to celebrate it. I made I had his favorite ice cream cake from Carvel's. He has had this cake just about every year of his life. He would always remind me to get him that cake, you would think at 21, he would maybe want a different cake but no way, this is his favorite! Most of his cousins his age came over, they were all super close, they were hanging out together all the time. A few of his closest friends also came over. As I placed the 22 candles, I began to weep, I couldn't believe that he was not there to blow out his candles but everyone there comforted me the best way they could and it helped me get through the rest of that evening. Everyone went around the room to tell a funny story about my son. Everyone knew his favorite saying......."Relax, it's NOT that serious!", oh my goodness, that boy said that for everything. Then everyone made fun of the way he danced, that made me laugh so hard, he did this one dance, no matter what the music was and everyone there knew this. Hearing my son's friends reminisce about him, especially when they were very little. This helped me so much, because I always have this fear that they will all forget about my son and that he will only end up being a memory to them. My son is soooooooooooooo much more than a "memory", he had a life and he will always be my son, he will always be my baby. The more they spoke about him, the better I felt. We played his favorite music artists music, Michael Jackson and Bob Marley, along with quite a few of my son's own music that he produced. He was a avid keyboard player and that was his dream/ goal to become this great music producer .He taught himself how to play. That boy would make beats/tracks all day when he wasn't at work. He had his own studio equipment. He lived for his music.
One of my daughters had told me that a birthday party for him would be too much for her to handle and that she would not attend but she changed her mind and was extremely glad that she came. She said that it also brought her so much comfort. I could actually feel my son's presence there, I could feel him standing next to me. We repeated the celebration for his last birthday when he turned 23.
Everyone has different views on this, I know some people who would never consider doing what I did for whatever reason, to each, its own. Some people choose to go to their final resting place, I chose not. For me, at this time, that would be the last place I would go for my son's birthday. That dreadful place only intensifies my sadness and doesnt represent his life to me. I do however, go there ofetn, sometimes 3-4 times a week, because I like to maintain it, the same way I would have taken care of his room. Sometimes I just go there to drive pass it, I keep driving while convincing myself that my son is not there and none of this happened. I am crazy, I'm a nut case! lol! This can really make you crazy. I also make sure I maintain my son's memorial site at the intersection where all of this occured. I have flowers around his picture on a tree. I place balloons there often. There are some days that I can NOT drive pass there, I will avoid it. My father, till this day, will NOT drive pass that street.
Do what your heart feels, no one can judge you!
Love to all!
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