Frances Cope
  • Female
  • Western Grove, AR
  • United States
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About my Loss:
Our son took his own life in our home on 10/15/10, two days before my 65th birthday.

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At 11:52am on November 29, 2011, Grace said…

Frances..... I am so sorry for all of our suffering... and that you suffer from suicide.... my son, 14 was autistic.  He was mentally impaired... the morning of our ending happened as he began to drink too much water which caused his sodium level to drop that caused a siezure and then at the hospital was given a medication he had been given 6 months earlier which now stopped his breathing.....and it just went from bad to worse....  the drugs he had routinely taken were later told may have produced thirst and some may have lowered his sodium too.... all of those what if questions....  WE ALL HAVE THEM.... and when we trust the doctors to help us with our kids... and even maybe in your son's case... Anti-depressants can cause suicidal thoughts...just know that you and your son were trying to control his mental health and sometimes it backfires.                                        but none the less  WE ARE ALL HERE for the same reason... we lost SOMEONE AND IT HURTS LIKE HELL.   It is really not as important as to how they are dead... they are and we all know they are gone forever... and all of us will relive good and bad... replay what could have or should have been different.  Just know we all have our own hell and Post Traumatic Stress that we live....but we can read another story and see our own either not as bad or worse.

One of my friends asked me this weekend... why I still make Turkey Tortellini soup when I cry and think of my son.... maybe she would never make it again...  and I told her it is a Memory that I do not want to forget.... somehow... even though I cry.... those memories validate his existence..... he really was a person and he left an impression... and it is all that I have from the Nothing I have...Memories and I want to hold on to them.... Strange hey?

At 11:31pm on November 18, 2011, Karen R. said…

Hey Frances, you are very welcome for my response. I wish there was no such experience as grief but unfortunately, there is. I wish this could all be our wild imaginations but it's not. I keep hoping that there is way for me to "FIX" this. This just hurts so much.

Many hugs to you and everyone.

At 7:00pm on November 14, 2011, Ammy said…

Frances, I am so sorry that I never commented to you before.  I'm looking at your page and I know I've never seen it before.  I noticed you started here on Dec. 5th.  I don't know how I missed it, but I did.  Maybe I was going through a time of where I didn't get on here.  I go through phases.  Don't know if others do that too, but I do.  My son was 2 years older than yours, but he also had been diagnosed Bipolar & schizophrenic.  I don't know how he managed to deal with life as long as he did without help.  He finally went for help in Feb. of 2010.  Started to do well with his mental health, but his primary doctor that he started new with gave him Duragesic patches for some pain he was having.  Terrible mistake.  Four months later he was gone.  Our son never married but he has a little girl that just turned 3 last month.  He has always lived with us for most of his life except when he would go off on his adventures to other states.  I see similarities in our relationships with our sons that is why I'm writing all this.  Sorry.  Thanks for the comment on the Loss wall.  Be blessed, Ann

 
 
 

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