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Comment by Michele Hayes on December 1, 2012 at 7:48am

Robin- something we did for Ivy's anniversary was a memorial. We sent out invitations and wrote that if they could not make it and wanted to participate, they could send up balloons with notes on the anniversary. We also have family that is very scattered- Kentucky, Illinois, Nevada, California.

Comment by Grace on December 1, 2012 at 7:30am

Dear Rachael,

Sorry you became a member of this group....  I lost my 14 year old son in MAY 2009.....  I lost my first husband in 1983.

No one can imagine the pain ....our brains can not imagine. this....

I hope you can find some comfort here in knowing that we have lived this pain too....

Comment by Karen R. on November 30, 2012 at 11:36pm

Hey Robin, I know how you are feeling, I too have not posted in awhile. Some times it really is just too much. Sorry for the conflict, I hope something can be worked out. Always honor your baby, he will always be your son and you will always be his mom.

Comment by Karen R. on November 30, 2012 at 11:31pm

Of course you can still talk about or share your loss of your fiance in this group. I can only imagine how they both have impacted your life.

Comment by Karen R. on November 30, 2012 at 11:28pm

Greetings Rachel, sorry to hear of yet another loss. You can start a blog or discussion or chat. It may help to read some of the postings in this group which is primarily for our children. There maybe some other groups on this site relating to the loss of your fiance. A loss is a loss, that no one can truly measure. There are no rules or guidelines that we must follow. I am still suffering from the loss of my 21yr old son, it has been barely 3 yrs but my pain is as fresh as that dreadful day. it still causes me great pain and anxiety just to think, say, write or type those words....'MY SON PASSED AWAY!" , it should really end with a question mark because I can not believe it or accept it and I don't feel like I ever will. Once again, I am sorry for your losses. ..many hugs to you.

Comment by Robin Jone on November 30, 2012 at 11:26pm

Hi Everyone, it has been awhile since I have posted. I read periodically how everyone is doing. Some days it just seem to take some much out of me to try and talk about my feelings. December 16th will be my son's birthday, This will be the second birthday without him, it brings up so much pain and conflict. None of our entire family live here any more, one daughter in Columbia, one in Rock Hill, the other with her family in Atlanta, It is so hard to try to plan anything for us all to be together,. It is causing conflicts, trying to get everyone  together at one time is near impossible. It is just too hard, and too painful, Don't know what we are going to keep it easy,I;m sure not every one will be able to be there , I just want to sit and think about him, talk about him and wish the impossible things about wanting him back! Causes conflicts within the family,then everyone get upset, it just sucks that it has come to this. love you Zach so very much, I think about you every single day,.Love you son,'

Comment by Rachael Frances on November 30, 2012 at 5:20am

Hi, I have just joined. Is there a group chat that I could join? I lost my daughter and fiance in January 2012 x

Comment by Michelle W on November 30, 2012 at 2:19am

Well it has been the most interesting week, my mother in law and sister inlaw came over from California with her child ( who was born ones month before my son was taken from me) so she one they joined us for my daughters birthday dinner at a resterant and they can down to be with us on that horrible date to honor my son... Well they desided that they only would be at there hotel room and we had requested just not to go to the same spot at the same time we just didn't want to relive it all.... So they desided that they did not want to meet anywhere with us and went back home they would not even come over to our house .. To dinner or even say good bye.... So basically they came in town for a free dinner ... Make us feel bad on the worst two days of our lives then leave because we haven't moved forward yet...... I'm just amazed on the insensitivity of the in laws .... I have no need ever to communicate with them again .... They where completely disresepectful.....my sons two best friends came over that evening... It was so bittersweet ..... I want my B back...

Comment by Crystal M. Czar on November 29, 2012 at 8:28pm

Hello all, give yourself permission to do what you need to do for the holiday's.  I went to las vegas the first two years, because in las vegas it stays the same and you can't even tell its the holidays.  It was easier for me to go some where no one had any expectations of me.

Comment by Michele Hayes on November 29, 2012 at 4:36pm

Kitty- it has occurred to me that I may have some symptoms of ptsd. I guess I didn't think of the anxiety of having it happen to another child as a symptom.   Ammy- it is so true that the loss of a child changes you. I wouldn't say completely- at least in my case. But I am just not the same person I was before I lost my sweet Ivy. Losing a child is unlike any other loss. I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that my daughter went before me. It's just not natural. I lost my mom when I was 20 and though I wish she could have stayed with us longer, it is the natural order of life that the parents go first. And I bet everyone of us at sometimes has wished that it had been us and not them.

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