Comment

Comment by Karen R. on November 30, 2012 at 11:36pm

Hey Robin, I know how you are feeling, I too have not posted in awhile. Some times it really is just too much. Sorry for the conflict, I hope something can be worked out. Always honor your baby, he will always be your son and you will always be his mom.

Comment by Karen R. on November 30, 2012 at 11:31pm

Of course you can still talk about or share your loss of your fiance in this group. I can only imagine how they both have impacted your life.

Comment by Karen R. on November 30, 2012 at 11:28pm

Greetings Rachel, sorry to hear of yet another loss. You can start a blog or discussion or chat. It may help to read some of the postings in this group which is primarily for our children. There maybe some other groups on this site relating to the loss of your fiance. A loss is a loss, that no one can truly measure. There are no rules or guidelines that we must follow. I am still suffering from the loss of my 21yr old son, it has been barely 3 yrs but my pain is as fresh as that dreadful day. it still causes me great pain and anxiety just to think, say, write or type those words....'MY SON PASSED AWAY!" , it should really end with a question mark because I can not believe it or accept it and I don't feel like I ever will. Once again, I am sorry for your losses. ..many hugs to you.

Comment by Robin Jone on November 30, 2012 at 11:26pm

Hi Everyone, it has been awhile since I have posted. I read periodically how everyone is doing. Some days it just seem to take some much out of me to try and talk about my feelings. December 16th will be my son's birthday, This will be the second birthday without him, it brings up so much pain and conflict. None of our entire family live here any more, one daughter in Columbia, one in Rock Hill, the other with her family in Atlanta, It is so hard to try to plan anything for us all to be together,. It is causing conflicts, trying to get everyone  together at one time is near impossible. It is just too hard, and too painful, Don't know what we are going to keep it easy,I;m sure not every one will be able to be there , I just want to sit and think about him, talk about him and wish the impossible things about wanting him back! Causes conflicts within the family,then everyone get upset, it just sucks that it has come to this. love you Zach so very much, I think about you every single day,.Love you son,'

Comment by Rachael Frances on November 30, 2012 at 5:20am

Hi, I have just joined. Is there a group chat that I could join? I lost my daughter and fiance in January 2012 x

Comment by Michelle W on November 30, 2012 at 2:19am

Well it has been the most interesting week, my mother in law and sister inlaw came over from California with her child ( who was born ones month before my son was taken from me) so she one they joined us for my daughters birthday dinner at a resterant and they can down to be with us on that horrible date to honor my son... Well they desided that they only would be at there hotel room and we had requested just not to go to the same spot at the same time we just didn't want to relive it all.... So they desided that they did not want to meet anywhere with us and went back home they would not even come over to our house .. To dinner or even say good bye.... So basically they came in town for a free dinner ... Make us feel bad on the worst two days of our lives then leave because we haven't moved forward yet...... I'm just amazed on the insensitivity of the in laws .... I have no need ever to communicate with them again .... They where completely disresepectful.....my sons two best friends came over that evening... It was so bittersweet ..... I want my B back...

Comment by Crystal M. Czar on November 29, 2012 at 8:28pm

Hello all, give yourself permission to do what you need to do for the holiday's.  I went to las vegas the first two years, because in las vegas it stays the same and you can't even tell its the holidays.  It was easier for me to go some where no one had any expectations of me.

Comment by Michele Hayes on November 29, 2012 at 4:36pm

Kitty- it has occurred to me that I may have some symptoms of ptsd. I guess I didn't think of the anxiety of having it happen to another child as a symptom.   Ammy- it is so true that the loss of a child changes you. I wouldn't say completely- at least in my case. But I am just not the same person I was before I lost my sweet Ivy. Losing a child is unlike any other loss. I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that my daughter went before me. It's just not natural. I lost my mom when I was 20 and though I wish she could have stayed with us longer, it is the natural order of life that the parents go first. And I bet everyone of us at sometimes has wished that it had been us and not them.

Comment by Ammy on November 29, 2012 at 3:56pm

I am so depressed.  Maybe it's knowing that the holiday season is here.  I don't want to think about holidays or celebrating.  I've already told my family I don't think I will be shopping.  I just can't get myself to do it.  I know I need to get something for my son's little girl (4), but I'm hoping to order something online like I did last year. 

The loss of a child completely changes you, you can't just move on as everyone thinks you can.  Expectations from others "to move on" weighs heavily on me, but I am thankful to those that do understand for telling me, "don't ever apologize for grieving, don't ever apologize for your tears, your grief is your own."

My prayers go out each day for those who have lost loved ones, it truly is a tough journey!

Comment by Kitty Peine on November 29, 2012 at 2:04pm

Michele, Yes, I do. Check into EMDR. If you Google that, you will learn about it. I am doing sessions now. It really helps. What you may be experiencing is PTSD and EMDR helps alleviate that. My grief therapist suggested it to me. Check with your doctor.

God Bless

Kitty

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