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Comment by Tammy black(Zendt) on February 10, 2016 at 7:25am

On February 5th my beautiful Amanda has been gone for 18 months. The pain is still so unbelievable. Waiting on this trial has also been hard. I wake up thinking about her I go to sleep thinking about her. My mind races I keep picturing facing the man that took her beautiful life in a split second. Like she was nothing. How do I heal?im grateful for everyone to vent to. God bless all of you.

Comment by Sharon on February 9, 2016 at 10:59pm

One year ago yesterday was the day that changed my life forever. My beautiful 24 year son died on February 8th. You would think that the pain would get better, but it really hasn't. I still think about him constantly. I go between depression and anxiety, but am afraid to go on medication because of the side effects. I can't imagine ever really being happy again.
I love you Troy. You will never be forgotten.

Comment by Teresa D. on January 28, 2016 at 9:57am

Barb birthdays are always hard. Spend the day the way you need to. 

I can say nothing or I can honestly tell you I spent the first year crawled up on my bathroom floor just crying all day until someone opened the door to check on me. When I looked up I saw 9:00pm on the clock and realized I survived it.  Until that moment I literally felt like I would die that day.  I gone through more birthdays with Valentines every where I look as a in my face reminder. 

Barb I will also tell you this.....I did not spend the past two years on the bathroom floor and don't expect to this year either.  I did spend them crying my eyes out though. But it wasn't on the bathroom floor. My anxiety is already starting and February isn't even here yet. 

I expect to cry, not sure what else I'll do but I know I will do what I can so I'm not on that floor.  In time I want to be able to celebrate Michael's life rather than mourning it.  I'm just not there.

Comment by Barb S on January 28, 2016 at 3:26am

My daughter passed away 1/15/15, tomorrow is her 36 birthday, I am having a hard time. I miss her so bad.
I want the pain to go away.

Comment by Teresa D. on January 27, 2016 at 4:04pm

Here I go again, I don't want February to come.  Valentine's Day is Michael's birthday.  He was the best gift I ever received.  He would be turning 33 this year.  So I sit and wonder what his life would have been like.

Miss you Mike! Love you Michael!

Comment by Jesse's Mom on January 21, 2016 at 8:03pm

Interesting web site from bereaved father Guy who lost his son Billy to an ATV accident.

http://www.oursonbilly.com/

Comment by Connie K on January 21, 2016 at 10:46am

Mona

 I am so sorry to welcome you here. My son died the same way a little over 3 years ago. He was a passenger with 3 boys and he was the only one killed (the others were barely injured). the driver made an arrogant, negligent move that cost my son his life. Your daughter is beautiful and I hope you can find some comfort here. Prayers to you.

Comment by Lori on January 20, 2016 at 11:06pm

I'm sorry. 7 months for us... We live in the path that this winter storm is coming. Last winter my Cameron and I hibernated and watched movies during snowstorms.. This really brings back memories and also hurts that he isn't here to hang out with. I didn't know a sadness like this existed in life.

Comment by Dick on January 20, 2016 at 10:56pm

Yes, I haven't been on much. I just buried myself in work and physical work for the past months since August. We quit going to therapy and Compassionate Friends. We hardly talk about my son because it is so hard, 5 year and the pain is still here. Life is cruel.

Comment by Jill E on January 16, 2016 at 7:49pm

I read these words here and I hear these same words in my head, the same pain in my heart.
I spend my days trying to keep my brain busy so I don't let myself think, so I don't drop into that big black hole, to try to hold back the pain. I am tired so tired but sleep is hard to come by.

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