Tammy black(Zendt)
  • Female
  • Macomb, MI
  • United States
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  • Dani
  • Tildyc
  • Connie K

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About Me:
I am a single parent of 3 amazing children. Which are my son my nephew I'm adopting soon. And my wonderful granddaughter. I've raised for 5 years. My daughter was shot and killed in Orlando last August 5 th.
About my Loss:
My 27 year old daughter was shot and killed.
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At 3:17pm on October 28, 2015, Connie K said…

Tammy - I am sorry to have too welcome you to the group. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. We all understand your pain and anguish all too well. I hope you can find some comfort and support here. I lost my 17 year old son 9myonly) almost 3 years ago (it seems like yesterday), He was a passenger in a car with a "friend" who made a an arrogant and stupid move which cost my son his life. The driver was fine. We all have regrets, please do not be too hard on yourself. Hugs to you. Connie

At 7:08pm on October 20, 2015, Tammy black(Zendt) said…
I feel alone. I am so damn mad that piece of shit chose to play God and take my baby us. She was and is very loved. She never knew how much. I hate myself for not answering the phone when she called me for the last time. Why didn't I answer the phone?
At 10:03pm on October 11, 2015, Dani said…

Tammy,

Your loss is a devastating and unnatural one. Although it will be unique, we all share the indefensible pain that attacks our soul each minute. The senselessness and traumatic loss you have experience I can understand. The anger stands there, waiting to usurp your heart when the sadness and pain are unguarded.

I have found that i am drifting through my life; wondering if I would even have any fight within me should I be faced with a choice.

I find small accomplishments in such unordinary tasks such as having a meal and getting out of bed. You may find that you are consumed with tears and despair, and in that, I can only find meaning in that I loved him very much. That is the balance to our most beloved persons; your daughter must be so deeply loved. 

There is a prayer that I try to soothe myself with, and it says:

from ignorance to knowledge,

from dark to light,

from mortality to immortality,

to peace.

Please reach out here whenever is possible. We are with you in all of this. I am 35 years old, feeling like I am 60 years old without plans for the future. But here, at least I am not too alone. You are not going through this by yourself as I hear you and see you.

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
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Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26
Kali joined Cathy Richardson's group
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Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
Sep 25
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