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Comment by Gale Brunault on July 14, 2014 at 4:18pm

Vasanthi I am so sorry for your loss - what an amazing comment you wrote about keeping the faith and then reading from your son's calendar!!  I too lost an only child - Michael at 31 from an apparent overdose.  He had been clean and productive in life and then one day/night he and his girlfriend made a choice.  It cost both their lives....I miss him so much it's sometimes unbearable.  I also go to a grief therapist who too lost an only child (son).  It has helped me quite a bit.  God Bless you -

Comment by Gale Brunault on July 14, 2014 at 4:11pm

Hi Linda,  I truly understand your pain of realizing the hopes and dreams you had for your daughter, are no longer.  Such a sorrowful thought.  I too lost my only child Michael (a son) and I think about the grandchildren that won't be in my life or the wedding that isn't happening.  It's all so much to take in - I've been seeing a grief therapist and she's helped me a lot.  She too lost her only child (a son) so I feel an immediate connection with her.  Please know that I am thinking of you and sending hugs your way

Comment by Linda on July 14, 2014 at 3:49pm

of many things I grieve about concerning the loss of my only daughter and the only child I will ever be able to have is that she had never experienced true love with a man. I will never be able to give her that big beautiful wedding, she so loved beautiful things....

Comment by Vasanthi S on July 14, 2014 at 11:45am

Reading and keep reading what you my dearest friends write.. dont have anything new to say except that at such times we must keep the faith that all will be well somehow. My son had a calendar which didn't have the year on it and everyday there has some saying in it. When I was lost in despair i had flipped the page and it said," When you believe in what you don't see, the reward is in seeing what you believe" ... and one day when I most needed it and flipped the page again, it said , " you are the most precious to me in the whole world"...how I hang on to all this :(

Comment by kim on July 14, 2014 at 10:07am

thank you linda but all my days are  pointless anymore. without my shawn theres nothing for me. I cant sleep, im so tired, I cry all the time. I just want to go with him, I pray to. the pain is just to much. and I am so very very sorry about your loss to I know the pain and loneliness you to are feeling  again  thank you

Comment by Linda on July 14, 2014 at 9:51am

i so feel every bit of pain you are experiencing kim. only months ago I lost my only most beautiful daughter.  you are so right, if only to hear the word mom addressed to me would make my world real again. just last night as I tossed and turned I focused all my attention to hearing conversations we once had if only to hear her voice. there is no easy way or anything that could instantly take this pain away, but I do believe that having faith in God and knowing that he loves ALL his children that this belief will help us heal. I have to remind myself at times that I am surrounded by love, the love of my husband, the love of my family and the love of close friends that still need us. try to find peace in that kim when your day's, like mine, can sometimes seem pointless.

Linda

Comment by kim on July 14, 2014 at 8:18am

my heart is so heavy  with pain, trying so hard to remember the good times, shawn I miss you so bad, without you there is no love there is no reason to be here. to hear the word mom again, would send me to the moon, you are and always will be my love, my life my baby. my heart and my soul.  help me through this shawn without you I cant do this.  love you forever  mom   

Comment by Lynn Williams on July 13, 2014 at 11:23am

I am happy to be going back to Vermont tomorrow. Staying at the farm where Kyra lived and worked right before she died has been very difficult at times. Thank god Kyra's siblings and my husband have been with me. At home her death doesn't seem real but here in Montana I have to face the reality. I hope our coming here to celebrate her first birthday in heaven helps us all. Kyra's siblings all leave for other parts of the country and Chris are spending the night in a hotel near the airport. I am happy Genna will be moving back to VT in October. August 17th will be the last of the firsts. The anniversary of her death. I bought a solo ticket to see Teresa Caputo(the LI medium) that afternoon. I got a third row single seat and I hope my daughter comes through. Love and peace to all those here. Merry I am glad you were able to feel better yesterday. This journey will be a lifetime experience until we are united with our children again.

Comment by Teresa D. on July 13, 2014 at 7:45am

Merry, I know at times I have to push myself.  There's days I don't want to do nothing, go no where or see anyone but I push myself.  I thought I had gotten real good at putting on the fake face, but as I look at my pictures from my vacation I realize just how sad my face has become.  Even so I will fight everyday to live. If for anything for my daughter and for my family. 

Comment by Michelle H on July 11, 2014 at 1:40pm

Linda, I didn't get to see my son when he died and there was no wake. He died at sea and they took his body to the nearest island where he was cremated a week later. It makes it harder to believe. He died 3/21/13.

I am writing from the conference and it's good. It's humbling to be in a room with 1500 bereaved parents along with sibs and grandparents. I'll share more after the conference.
Hugs and peace to all!

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