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Comment by Connie K on August 17, 2014 at 9:41pm

Hugs Kim

Comment by kim on August 17, 2014 at 12:14pm

feeling  so lonely, afraid to go on with out shawn. my heart is so empty. I need the answer , why my only child my son.  why not me? I hate weekends so bad, I watch the clock for 3 30 to go get him from work, to go shopping. I want to see his beautiful face his smile with those dimples. oh god to remember his voice so deep.  I love him so much and miss him so bad. as my tears fall I pray he does not forget me. my baby , my life. I want my son back, please bring him home.

Comment by kim on August 16, 2014 at 10:44am

dolly, I so understand what you are going through.  its getting worse for me to. I sleep with shawns things to. I wish and pray I was with him now. my life now is crying 24   7.  shawns the love of my life forever.  please take care  hugs   kim

Comment by Dolly on August 16, 2014 at 10:33am

God I HATE this.... it hurts TOO much.... and it just gets WORSE AND WORSE ... I MISS MY SON GOD

Comment by Dolly on August 16, 2014 at 10:32am

I still have the pillowcase Brandon died on and I sleep on the air mattress that he died on.. its at the mountain house and I sleep where he slept... I sometimes lay down on his bed at home too... anything to feel somehow closer to him someway.....

Comment by kim on August 16, 2014 at 8:17am

hi gale, there are times I just cant come on either. I cry so much I can see the letters.  and I pray each night to go with my only child shawn. living without him is unbearable pain. and finding people  that know my pain was hard to, till I came here.  I print out all the letters they send me, and read them a lot.  I have lost friends over my grieving but in here I have made the best friends I ever had.  im so lonely and empty,  but they understand.  take care hugs   love  kim

Comment by Gale Brunault on August 16, 2014 at 7:59am

Good morning - I haven't been frequenting this site as often as I did in the beginning (I think I was left feeling more depressed at the time).  It's been a little over 2 months and I'm desperately trying to come to grips with losing my only child - Michael.  I've been to see Maureen Hancock, a well known medium and I went to visit my priest (the one who did Michael's service).  The pain of losing someone you love and adore is so very deep that sometimes I have to stay in the moment or else I could really lose it.  I respect each and every one of you for opening your hearts and sharing such sadness with others.  I am going to try and stay more connected but please know if I'm not visiting the site, its only because I'm in another funk.  I imagine I'll have plenty along the way.....love, hugs and peace

Gale

Comment by kim on August 15, 2014 at 8:08pm

to all the most wonderful people I have ever met, you are all in my heart, I know we   are in unbearable pain, our tears will never stop, love you all hugs and thank you for being my friends  

Comment by Connie K on August 15, 2014 at 4:29pm

Sigrid _ still have the unwashed sheets also . I will never wash them.

Comment by Connie K on August 15, 2014 at 4:27pm

To all of you  - just want you to know you are all in my heart.

Dick - beautiful bench. I think it is so important to keep giving in the name of our child. What a beautiful gift to others. So sorry for your pain.

Adrienne and Lynn - thinking of you both so much and I will light candles for both of your children on the 17th. Just hate getting farther away from when we saw them last. Those anniversaries are so hard. (((   )))

We just took a 2 day trip to the beach before my husband returns to work. Went to a place we frequented many times with our son and friends over the years. Daniel loved the beach. This morning at breakfast a kid who looked just Daniels' age when he passed (17) walked by. All sleepy and and a little disgruntled as teens will be in the am on a family trip. He looked so much like Daniel that I just crumbled inside. As he walked away he looked just like him. I want to hold my son in my arms again. I feel like my chest is filled with concrete.

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