Losing Someone to Cancer

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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.

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Lost Dad to Lung Cancer

Started by Shane Hughes Apr 16, 2020.

I feel worse 2 and a half years on, than I ever did. 11 Replies

Started by Michael Thompson. Last reply by morgan May 12, 2019.

Give yourself time to heal

Started by Felicia Evans May 8, 2018.

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Comment by Betsy Arnold on November 30, 2011 at 2:05pm

This was my third Thanksgiving without my husband, Dale. His 46th birthday would have been Nov. 28, and even after two years since his passing, it was a harder day than I thought it would be. I'm very thankful for family and friends who have been so supportive and who encourage me to live each day to the fullest as much as I can. My husband was very positive and outgoing, and so generous and I want to continue his legacy.

Comment by Laura Salefski on November 27, 2011 at 12:39am
Well I made it through my first Thanksgiving. I am very thankful fir my friend Tracy. She not only invited me for dinner, but we also went shopping/people watching. She kept me engaged in what was happening in the here and now and made the holiday a whole lot easier to bear. She even welcomed my large dog into her home. All this us not to say I did not miss Jon, it just made missing him a little eSier. I hope all of you had a nice Thanksgiving, and remembered to thank God for the time we did have with our loved ones.
Comment by Sue Waxman on November 25, 2011 at 1:04pm

Hold onto those memories, even if they make you shed tears. Without memories what do we have?

Comment by michael sandoval on November 24, 2011 at 5:10pm

Happy Thanksgiving to Everyone.

 

this is my second Thanksgiving without Denise.  We only had one together, but we didn't spend the day together.  She went to her friend's house.  Me being a Vegetarian, i didn't spend the day eating turkey, instead I went to the temple and she went to her friend's .  that evening we got together and ate leftovers and had a good time together.  I really miss Denise.  She loved Christmas and we spent just one Christmas together.  It was a beautiful Christmas and I miss her so much.  We picked out a little tree, we went to the snow, we did shopping, we visited family, opened presents.  It was a wonderful time.  I miss you baby, I miss you so much.

 

Comment by Melissa Broome on November 23, 2011 at 10:09pm

I look at pictures of my mom alot..But they are all before she got so sick. I was at my brothers yesterday and he had taken a pic a few short weeks before our mom passed. Of my mom and I together..Seeing that pic of us together really hit me hard..I don't have many pics of us together since I'm older..I hate pics..But seeing the picture of her so sick looking... really hit me she's gone!

 

Comment by Laura Salefski on November 23, 2011 at 9:37pm
Cynthia, I am so thankful you are going with your new friend for Thanksgiving. It is an answered prayer. Now to pray that the dog finds a new forever home. It has been very low key around here and it will be tomorrow as well. I am going over to a friends house and it will just be the four of them and me. She has given me permission to be a weepy as I need to be. She is one of my very best friends. She and a few friends I have had since childhood. I started putting uP Christmas decorations in hopes that they will make me and the house a little more cheery. I will be going home to Canada for Christmas so at least then I will be with family. I hope everyone has as pleasant day as possible. I know it will be tough for all of us, but I will be thinking and praying for all .
Comment by Cynthia Horacek on November 23, 2011 at 7:57pm

Dear Laura and Anna -

I try not to blame my friends for not inviting me to join them; for many of them, they go out of town to be with family, and for many, their children are now grown and starting their own families, and starting their own holiday traditions and I can understand a friend not wanting to invite me to someone else's home.  I did get an invitation today however.  I just met this woman about a week ago - she found a lost dog and is looking for a home for it as her husband doesn't want a second dog.  The dog had no tags or microchip, and he's very sweet and needs to be neutered; she said his teeth are clean, and his nails are clipped, so it would appear someone was taking care of him, but she couldn't find anything in the way of a missing dog flier or message.  She and her daughters are in love with this dog, and he loves them already, but her husband is adamant.  I'd take him in a heartbeat, so we'll see.  But she invited me to her brother's house - she had to talk me into it a little; she said there will be a lot of people there; family and friends and one more would be nice.  So I guess that's what I'll do!  I did think about volunteering at a soup kitchen, but to be honest there isn't much of that around here.  I am going to be volunteering at our local hospital after I attend the orientation.  Right now I'm just busy with life - teaching, my parents, and my grandsons.  But that doesn't seem to ward off missing Don.  He was my rock, and with all I've been dealing with  around my mom and dad getting older and needing more and more help, it's been very stressful.  So I'm going to NYC to visit my daughter and son in law in December and I'm going to spend a month in Flagstaff after the 1st of the year.  Thank for your support.

Comment by anna l. on November 22, 2011 at 11:46pm

Cynthia I have talked here before about my volunteer search.  I felt the need to find a reason to get out of bed and house and figured volunteering would be a good way to start.  So I looked into what was needed in my town and ended up working in the Christmas hamper program of the food bank.  I have kids and grandkids who are around on the weekends so I needed something during the week.  I wonder if you would find some peace, and comfort in volunteering at a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving and helping others who have less than we do enjoy a good meal.  It is just a thought.  We each have to find our own way but it sure would be nice if we all had a better family/friend support system.  you are in my thoughts as I pray you find a way to make this holiday one to be truly thankful for.  Hugs from Canada

 

Comment by Laura Salefski on November 22, 2011 at 11:24pm
Cynthia, I wish you lived close by because I am positive my friend who invited me would have plenty of room in her heart and home for you. I'm so sorry your friends have forgotten about you, when like all of us on here, when you don't need to be alone. I guess I have been blessed. I had 6 invites, one from my first husbands wife. This will be my official first Thanksgiving without Jon. Last year he was in the hospital, losing cognition by the day. The memories of him slipping away from me are too close. I feel like I will never get those images out of my head. Last year I wanted him to be able to enjoy Thanksgiving. I knew it would be his last and it was his favorite holiday. I even sat in the room with football On and I hate football, but he loved it. He was so out of it I don't think he even realized it was on. Like all of us here, I miss Jon terribly. It is hard to get out of bed in the morning. Our friends who have not experienced the loss of a spouse have no clue how hard it is. That is one reason I like this forum. We have all been there and know what each other is feeling. I want you all to know you have been a tremendous blessing to me these past weeks. Thank you.
Comment by Cynthia Horacek on November 22, 2011 at 11:08pm

This is my second Thanksgiving without Don.  He died Nov. 12 last year.  No one has invited me to share the holiday with them.  My daughter who lives nearby is going out of town with her family; my parents are too old to do the holiday now - it's too exhausting for them - my brothers all live out of town and for some reason, my friends must just assume I either have plans or want to be left alone.   I didn't think it would bother me, but I do think it would have been nice if someone had just remembered that I'm here alone, and wouldn't mind some companionship just now. On the other hand, I'm not sure how good company I would be, as lately I've been feeling the loss even more.  My mom has not been well cognitively, and I feel like I'm losing her while she's still alive, which makes it even harder.  I don't really even know what to say.  I just feel very alone, and lonely, and it's getting old, and fast.  It's been a hard month.  Too many anniversaries in October, and then Don dying in November... and then trying to take care of my mom and dad (86 and 96) - somedays it's just more than I can bear.  anyway, thanks for listening.

 

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My mom died 4 months ago

My mom had pulmonary fibrosis. She was sick for a few years. It was funny how when my grandmother smoked, my mom would always say-I’m gonna die from second hand smoke. My mom never smoked. She died from lung disease. Ironic.I was fine at the funeral. Planning. Talking to everyone. I thought u handled it great. Now 4 months later, I’m a mess. Some days I’m perfectly fine, but others I can’t walk down the street without crying. I keep thinking that I haven’t talked to her in a while & I…See More
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My dad was the best human I’ve ever known.
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