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Comment by Nancy L on March 8, 2013 at 10:39pm

I always knew I would lose my mom one day.  But I never knew it would be this difficult. 

I was with my mom earlier in the day when she was admited to ICU.  I didn't make her go to the hospital when I was with her.  I asked her if she wanted to go and she told me no.  She thanked me for coming to visit her and I told her that I loved her.  That was the last time she was able to speak to me.  I feel so guilty.  Part of me knows that she was to far gone for the doctors to be able to help her but I feel so guilty.  I knew it wouldn't be long before she left us, but I didn't know it would be so quick. 

How quickly our lives fall apart.  Will our lives ever be complete?  I know mine will never be whole again. 

I think of her when I drive to work, that should would have loved today because it was sunny.  Or if it rains, she would always want to know how much it rained.  Just the simple things make me miss her even more.  She missed my granddaughers and my son's birthday.  She would always call him on his birthday.  I know my son missed that.  I miss knowing that she will never be able to.  Easter is coming up, she loved Easter.  She would always buy a bunch of eggs and I would sometimes be up till midnight coloring eggs! I love doing that.  It was a tradition.  What am I going to do this year?  I am so sad just even thinking about it. 

Comment by Ann on March 8, 2013 at 6:11pm

On March 18th my mom will be gone two years.  It hasn't been any easier; I miss her every day.  I do, however, feel her presence with me all of the time.  I kiss her urn, I bring her flowers, I talk to her all the time.  I can't wait until be are together again.

Comment by Marie on March 8, 2013 at 12:36pm

It's been a week or so since I came to this page. I hope everything is doing as well as can be expected. I simply cannot get over the fact that it has now been two years since my mom died. The more time passes the more I feel further from her and that makes me even much more upset. At least right after she died, I could say "last month we did this together", or last year we were at the beach, etc. I can't say those things now. Her physical being has drifted away. And, I miss her so much. I am sorry for those of you dealing with family drama. I guess we all have it to an extent. I wish my brother would do more to help with things like the house and other administrative things I am still dealing with. My sister is in college so I cannot expect her to do much. I want her to finish school.  It seems as though all of the responsibility has rested upon me. And, I just want to grieve. I don't want to have to deal with the mess.

They say God puts us through these type of things to make us stronger. I don't feel strong yet. I feel very weak. Maybe I'll get there one day.

Comment by Nancy L on March 8, 2013 at 10:16am

I feel as I am falling apart.  I am retreating more and more.  I always feared the call from a family member that something happened to mom.  Now that she is gone, I fear a call from a family member who is demanding something from my parents estate.  Me and my oldest sister are close, I am even afraid to call her because it seems my brother calls her and is very ugly to her. I feel bad for her being the brunt of all his meanness.  I am so ashamed of how my 'family' is acting.  It just brings me down.  I just don't understand why we all are not grieving the same.  My brother seems heartless from the things he is saying about my parents.  He has no respect for them, for their memory.  It just makes the hurt deeper. 

Comment by Helder Silva on March 7, 2013 at 11:46pm

Thanks Michael.

Wishing you all the best and my condolences in your time of loss as well.

God Bless

Comment by michael sandoval on March 7, 2013 at 9:28pm

Dear Helder,

My Condolences.

God Blesss

Comment by Helder Silva on March 7, 2013 at 7:07pm

Christina,

My mom also passed away on January 26th and, I agree, the heartache is so suffocating when I realize she isn't coming back and I can't call her :(

Comment by Lucy Russo on March 7, 2013 at 6:44pm

Today is one month that my mom passed and I miss her like crazy.

Comment by christina mohnke on March 7, 2013 at 11:46am

My mom passed jan 26th and its so hard to realize that she isnt coming back.

Comment by Jennifer Blackwood on March 6, 2013 at 4:55pm

It used to hurt every second of the day, but now it only hurts at night. The deep hole in my heart is still there and I don't think it will ever go away. I just feel that the moment Mom passed, I stopped breathing too!

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