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Comment by Maddy on May 6, 2013 at 7:46am

Mother's Day commercials on the radio and tv! Advertisements on the internet....I can't escape it! What makes it worse is that I am due to be a mother in about 2 months, for the first time. My husband was originally planning on making a gourmet dinner for me as a "You're about to be a Mother" Mother's Day surprise, but now I just want to hide my head in the sand for the entire weekend.

Anybody else change the channel really quickly when a Mother's Day ad comes on? How are you all coping with this constant rubbing of salt in our wounds?  

Comment by Judy on May 6, 2013 at 2:45am

I know we're all hurting because of all the reminders around us of Mother's Day approaching. I am so screwed up right now because it was last year on Mother's Day that we pulled life support, and Mother died the next morning. It will be the first anniversary. Am I subconsciously trying to stop time or what? All I know is that I'm not functional well at all, and feel very intensely sad.

Comment by michael sandoval on May 5, 2013 at 10:27pm

My condolences to everyone

God bless

Comment by Jeff R on May 5, 2013 at 6:49pm

Yikes...had ANOTHER dream last night w/Mom and my 2 aunts in it...both of whom passed away 15 and 24 years ago, respectively.  Guess I'm dwelling on this lately, and I like to think that Mom has been reunited with her sisters.  I went to the cemetary today for the first time since Mom passed; it was very hard.  I miss her terribly.  Planted flowers on her grave, as well as my aunts' and grandparents.  Mothers Day will be 3 months exactly since she has passed.  Miss you Mom.

 

Comment by Eliza on May 5, 2013 at 6:39pm

Thinking of mom today, 5 months to the day of her passing. Miss her, love her. Going to honor her on Mother's Day by volunteering for a cause she loved. Miss and love you, Mom.

Comment by Jaime Blythe on May 5, 2013 at 11:51am

The last year has been so crazy, from the time my husband was hospitalized for pneumonia, then two days before my and my hubby's 10th anniversary and vow renewal my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer. Then only 2 months, 8 days later my mom died. Now on April 24th just before I had to go into the operating room for four procedures at once, I got news that my aunt, my dads older sister died. My family is going through so much. My dad is going through the process of taking care of my aunts estate. It's just been too much to handle. Yet the day before my aunt passed, she died from renal failure, she looked at me at told me that Jesus was calling her home and it was time for her to go, but that she loves me and told me to go have my surgery and to get feeling better. She cared more about my health than the fact that she was dying. I feel so bad that I wasn't with her when she died. I was wanting her to be there with me for the surgery, I guess that may have been the reason she passed when she did, so she could be there. She died at 8 am, and the or team was standing there about to take me in when I got the call. This all feels like the worst dream ever. I'm still dealing with pain from the surgery, hopefully I will begin to feel better soon. The last year has just been so horrible, just want it to end.

Comment by Anne on May 5, 2013 at 4:58am

The Race for the Cure is coming up this month, and myself, my partner and a couple of other people are walking with me in honor of my Mom.  It has been 5 months and 5 days since she passed.  Some days it feels longer than that, and others..well, it feels like someone has ripped open my heart and the pain is immense.

  Kathy LaRue, I understand about having to develop a relationship with your dad.  Dad and I were never really close, until these past 2 years, a lot went on with Mom's health, and he and I handled it together, I have a younger brother who lives about an hour and a half from here with his family, so..well..enough said about that.

  When Mom passed, I realized that he had never lived alone, and that now, I was going to be the one to learn how to be friends with him.  So far so good, we have a few issues we deal with, and it is slow going.  It is going well though, we meet every Friday for lunch and then I hang with him for the afternoon.  I talk with him every morning.  So, it is happening....just wish moving through the pain of loss was as smooth going.

Comment by Kathy LaRue on May 5, 2013 at 2:44am

Also, I hope this comment helps. I am pathetically self-centered when it comes to the issue of death. The two great losses in my life have been my grandfather when I was 12 and my mother when I was 26. All I know is what I have experienced so I'm sorry for the limited perspective. I can only offer what I have experienced and what I have learned. It comforts me to write about it. I do hope that it comforts some of you to read about it. But if it doesn't, you are more than welcome to write back to me. I would love to hear about your lives and what you are dealing with. I know that I'm doing a lot of talking but I would also love to listen.

 

Your friend in grief, and a loved one lost too soon,

Kathy

Comment by Kathy LaRue on May 5, 2013 at 2:37am

Dreams definitely are weird but if you think about how they made you feel you can generally figure them out. Dream websites or books don't help much because your mind creates its own symbols. Think about how something or someone that made you feel in the dream.

 

Here's my own personal example. I had a dream that my dad was keeping my mom's corpse in his house. Then my mom's ghost came to me and told me that this is not what she wanted and to dispose of the corpse in some way. So I lit a fire to burn her remains. Unfortunately my dad found out and couldn't accept it so he ended up burning with her even though I tried to get him out of there. At the time the dream was very disturbing but its meaning was unclear to me. Now it's obvious. I want to forget about my mom as she was in death and because my dad is tied to that part of me part of me wants to forget him as well. I was always closer to my mom and I think my mind isn't sure how I can have a relationship with just my dad. I'm not saying this is right or a good thing, but I do believe you can learn a lot about your waking life from dreams. So basically, for me, forging an independent relationship with my dad is something that I need to work on for both our sakes.

Comment by Jeff R on May 3, 2013 at 10:08am

dreams can be weird.  I had another dream last night where I was in a car w/my Mom and Aunt.  Mom was driving and said she was tired, so I told her I'd take over....this is the same kind of "car dream" I had before.  Perhaps it reflects that my Mom was moving on and wanted me to take care of my Aunt.....something for me to ponder on!

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