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Comment by Nicole Zaat on May 9, 2015 at 7:19am

My mom passed on April 22, 2015. It's just been a little over two weeks and my stomach is still in knots. I just feel so blah. I wish this Mothers Day weekend was over already! I still got my mom a Mother's Day card because I can't bring myself not to get one.

Comment by Danny on May 9, 2015 at 3:49am

Almost two years Amy and it was so sudden that I still somehow know what has happened but refused to really accept it. Sudden is a killer for the survivor(s).  The first year was a daze.

Comment by Amy on May 9, 2015 at 1:16am

Thanks Danny. Can I ask how long it's been since you lost your mom and from what? I was my moms main caretaker for about 5 years and learning to take care of myself now is a challenge. I'm 33 years old, not married, no kids so I have a lot of time on my hands to think and miss her. It's a struggle. Everyone around me says I'm doing great but on the inside I just feel so alone and different from all my friends. They still have their parents. (I lost my father when I was 12) They have children who can have grandma watch them and play with them and I will never have that. Sorry, I could go on for hours but I appreciate you reaching out to me. It's nice to have someone who gets it. :)

Comment by Danny on May 9, 2015 at 12:29am

Just take your own time though to do what you can. No rush.

Comment by Danny on May 8, 2015 at 11:38pm

I can confirm that the beginning of the second year can be very tough because you actually lose the connect of the previous year.  Especially the first 4 months of the second year were tough for me.  I'm finding it hard to make decisions as well but again, I postponed as much as I could.

Comment by Amy on May 8, 2015 at 4:47pm

Thanks Danny for your response. I can honestly say that the second year has started off brutal. Like I'm reliving it all over again except without her. I just miss her terribly.

Comment by Danny on May 8, 2015 at 2:01pm

Amy: The pain goes away and then comes back and yes dont worry about it intensifying especially since its very early just a year. The second year, especially initially can be a killer.  I don't have many answers but can only relate to what you are experiencing; as Karen said it never really goes away. Its about living with the grief.

Comment by Amy on May 8, 2015 at 12:29pm

I'm new to this group and just wanted to share that I too miss my mom so much. It has only been a year but I feel like the pain is intensifying rather than subsiding. Can I ask anyone one here if the feel that pain will subside? I just miss having my support, my guidance, my best friend around. I'm 33 and feel like I don't know how to live the rest of my life without this amazing woman.

Comment by pushpa on May 1, 2015 at 5:09am

Miss you so much Mom.Nothing fills that void.

Comment by Leila on April 30, 2015 at 12:13am

I lost my 86 year old mother (BEST mother EVER) on April 18, 2015 at a Hospice center. She had Stage 4 Melanoma with mets to the brain. I prayed and prayed for a miracle. We were extremely close. I still feel a little numb. I'm afraid of how I'll feel when it wears off. The way she passed in Hospice haunts me. She was transferred there after a change in her neurological status. Docs told us she had only a few days and encouraged transfer to the Hospice facility. She was there 10 days. I never heard her voice again or saw her eyes open from the time she arrived and they started the morphine and Ativan. I'm glad she did not suffer pain, but it was torture to see the way she gradually wasted and her systems failed. I feel like the worst daughter in the world. I miss her so much. I want my mother back.

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