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Comment by Leila on January 4, 2016 at 12:45am

My heart is filled with sadness for all of us, and for the reason we are here. It's been 8.5 months since my own sweet mom left for heaven due to cancer, and I still miss her every moment of the day. I can relate to the feelings of loss and grief y'all have shared. I am still struck with disbelief of what happened and how quickly my mom had to leave us. Sometimes I just feel so angry I can't have my mom back!! I am active and cheerful every day for my family, but I cry each day when I'm alone. I've had to stop listening to music because too many songs make me cry. We were at Disney World last week and I burst into tears when 'I'll be Home for Christmas' started playing. My mom was a young woman during WW II and she loved that song. I'm beyond thankful for my family and friends, and the love and support they give me and my dad. I realize how blessed I am. But I still have a hole in my heart for my mom. I am the matriarch of our family now, and I'll never be able to fill her shoes. I miss you, Mom!! I love you and treasure you forever! I want you back!!

Comment by Felicia on January 3, 2016 at 11:48pm

I miss my mom so much tonite. Its been almost six years, on April 12, 2010. A song came on the radio tonite as I was driving, "Shower the people you love with love, show them the way you feel..." By James Taylor. It made me miss mama all the more because we used to sing it together when I was a kid back in the 70's. The pain never really goes away. Its like I am stuck in a time warp, everyone else around me is in 2016 and I am still in April  2010. II do crazy things like Google her name just to see what comes up, just desperately needing to see something, ANYTHING, that might pertain to her. I am such a lost soul, a lonely heart without her. She was my best friend all my life. I have plenty of friends all around me, but no none can replace a mother!

Comment by HelenB on December 29, 2015 at 10:25am

Ps sorry for typos. Hard to see & type. My heart breaks for us all. No matter what the cause of death was. Nothing will fix it now. I'm sorry u all share my pain but I'm grateful for this site. May we one day learn to live our own lives again somehow even if the loss is always going to be there. I think many of us are consumed & paralyzed with grief, as if our worlds stopped & we too were buried. The rest of the world is going on and our lives are passing us by because part of us was lost & part of us feels like it died too.. A huge part of us. My last 4 years with my beautiful mom were very difficult due to the type of mental illness she had (not depression) becoming much much worse. So, it was like watching someone with a long fatal illness & feeling rejected by my own mother/best friend. I grieved long before her actual death but her death didn't bring me any peace. I knew I could never have my real mom back. I was with her at her last breath. She came out of her deep coma the docs said d would never happen for a half hour to listen to songs I recorded for her (I'm a trained singer & ironically, a psych prof). She waited until I was alone with her in the icu & was very responsive & we cried. She waited until the end of the song Angel by Sarah Mclachlan (which actually is abt suicide) and to the shock of the icu docs/nurses, she closed her eyes & flatlined in me arms. I knew she loved me & she knew I loved her-a miraculous gift yet the scene haunts me. Overdosing on anything with Tylenol is a nasty way to go. It was horrible. I am angry at the dr who gave her a huge bottle of the pills she couldn't ever have again & the ppl who knew she had them.

Comment by HelenB on December 29, 2015 at 10:01am

I wish I could reply to all of you, but I'm sick & ant to leave for medical care. Megan, so true. "A mother is the most important woman in a daughter's life" (by Me, 2015). I lost my mom to suicide last year. Valerie, many ppl with my rare illness start with palliative care & soon are in hospice & then they are dead from being overdosed on pain meds. My mom died of an overdose of narcotics but she took the pills she wasn't supposed to have again. It was her 6th attempt I know of, but I also think ppl didn't take her health problems seriously & I know she was preyed upon by my brother

Comment by Megan on December 29, 2015 at 7:59am

Comment by Megan on December 21, 2015 at 8:17am

Yes, Casey. I think you are right, I am not sure there is any "getting better." xx

Thinking of you all. xx

Comment by Douglas on December 21, 2015 at 2:40am

I am so lonely lately, I cannot stand it. This has been a tough year. SO many people I know and love have passed away this year!
I am now going through a very sad breakup after a very happy 8 year relationship. A great friend of mine lost his wife in August and I have tried to be there and support him. We support each other. My Black Labrador Retriever, who my Mom loved SO much is here with me. There is SO much I thank God for everyday!

My heart longs for my Mom and Dad. It's been 5 years since I lost my Mom and I feel like I am starting over again.

Thank you for reading!

Comment by Martha on December 20, 2015 at 5:45pm

Tough week for all.

Valerie: I can relate. My father had a stroke was getting ready to go to rehab, he got restless one night and he was given an injection of ativan, went into a coma and passed three later. The only reason we found out he was given the ativan was because the lady who was visiting the person next to him told us that is what happened to her husband and surely enough when we asked, that is what they had done. So sad!

My mother suffered a fall, was taken to the hospital nothing was broken, but after that she could hardly walk. They had done so many test with radiation i believe that hurt her. She had to go back to the hospital for a blood clot. The treatment was barbaric. Then her doctor told me that if we put her in hospice at home it would help me take care of her. In less than one week she was gone.

The health care system has turned into a giant money making machine and sometimes the patient comes second. That is my personal opinion.

May God give us all the strength to bear this cross in this very special week when Christ was born.

Comment by Margie S. on December 20, 2015 at 10:53am

A day like today I was supposed to be traveling to Florida to see my adorable mom, but here I am at home thinking about her, sad, with no desire to do anything, kissing her picture, telling her that I love her and that I miss her so much and crying.  Huge difference.  Why is she gone? It has been two months and twelve days.  I can't stop thinking about her.  

Comment by valerie cox on December 17, 2015 at 10:57am

Awww thank you Casey. I am sending you a big hug!

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