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Comment by Leila on April 25, 2017 at 1:03pm

My heart goes out to you, Bluebell. It's going to be a tough couple of months. It can be hard just to go to a restaurant and see other families with their mother at the table. I think it's wonderful that you and your sister have stayed so close. No words can make this time less painful, but if you'd just like to talk, I'm here. Sending hugs and prayers to you.

Comment by BLUEBELL on April 25, 2017 at 10:25am

Theresa

I am hanging in there. The last couple of days have been tearful. I am so grateful I have this group to talk with and my sister to cry with. One of the hardest things for me to deal with is feeling so alone.

It was 2 months April 14th since my Mom passed. I dread my birthday that is coming up soon. Then there will be Mother's day and Mom's birthday June 19th. These are days to be celebrated. But as I said, all I feel is dread.

Bluebell

Comment by rhonda jean on April 25, 2017 at 6:16am

I'm in the same boat as you Theresa. My moms 2 yr anniversary was the 15th. Easter was hard! I agree the first year is a fog, and the second one is harder in a different way - it seems so much more real and permanent. Finding ways to carry on and not dwell on her death is a constant battle for me. And this is exactly when people think 'you should be getting better' - right when it's getting the hardest! Quite the paradox for anyone trying to get through this type of loss. I haven't visited these pages for some time, but I'm glad I stopped in and it isn't just me
Who feels at 2 years grief can be tougher! It makes me feel just a little bit less alone with this all...so thanks for your honesty and for sharing Theresa!

Comment by Theresa on April 25, 2017 at 5:25am

Bluebell, thank you so much, I had to do the same thing 17 years ago when my dad died.

I hope you are hanging in there, it takes time.  Like I said before the first year after my mom passed, I was in a haze, I just couldn't see through the fog.

This year I am sorry to say it hit me harder, but I talking myself through it.

I just keep saying, I know mom when it is my time to come home you will be right there waiting for me....

 

Comment by BLUEBELL on April 24, 2017 at 8:40pm

Theresa

I think it was an excellent idea to get a medication that will make you more comfortable. Anxiety is tough to deal with. I am glad it is already helping you.

Take care,

Bluebell

Comment by Theresa on April 24, 2017 at 7:23pm

Nancy, yes I do go to a bereavement class at our church once a month.

Yes I do agree being around others does help

 

Comment by Leila on April 24, 2017 at 5:41pm

Thanks for checking in on us, Theresa.

Easter and the two year mark of my mom's passing were within two days of each other, so it was tough, especially Easter Day, which I was mostly alone for. The rest of the time I was with my husband and children, and grandchildren, which did help.

I'm glad you and your doctor have found a med that will help you. I take something also. There is no shame in getting help when you need it.

Have you thought of joining or starting a Meet-Up group or some other type of social group. My counselor encouraged me to join one after my mom passed to make new social connections. I couldn't find one that was a good fit for me, so I started my own (a 50+ women's group called Ladies Who do Lunch:-)) It has been highly successful and I have a large new group of friends. Nobody can take the place of my mom, but it helps getting out and being with friends. Also, since we are around the same age many of us have lost one or both parents, so we are able to support one another.

Sending hugs and prayers to all!

Comment by Theresa on April 23, 2017 at 7:46pm

Tanya and Bluebell, I am hanging in there it has been one year and four months, it is really really hard.

Tanya I am sorry about your bf's dad.

I have to be honest, I had to get something from my dr to calm my anxiety.  It has helped with that.

I continually keep going over how to live my life without my mom, maybe I don't keep busy enough, but today is my first day off from work and I'm so tired. 

We used to go to my moms every Sunday, sometimes I am like mom I hope you know what is going on here.....

It seems surreal sometimes.

 

Comment by BLUEBELL on April 23, 2017 at 5:42pm

Theresa. Thank you for caring. Today is okay, but yesterday was not. I went to an Estate sale with my sister and a couple of her friends. I had to leave and go sit in the car. I felt so sad thinking that this is what is going to happen to Mom's things. I also thought of the time and care that she put into buying those things and how much pleasure they gave her. Since I no longer have her, the closest I can get is her belongings. I do not know how I am going to let them go. But at the same time, I do not have the room to keep it all. And even if I did, that is not what I want. What I really want is her to still be here. And I can not have that. The sense of loss is intense right now. But I will get through this. I just do not know when. I also know I will always miss her. We bonded at my birth and it is a bond that will be forever.

Bluebell

Comment by Tanya on April 23, 2017 at 5:40pm

ent by Tanya 1 second ago
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Hi Theresa, two weeks ago was the one year anniversary of my mom passing away and the day before my bf's dad passed away. So it's been a busy upsetting time. How are you managing?

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