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Comment by Sherri on November 22, 2017 at 7:21pm

Hello everyone I know you guys are having thanksgiving tomorrow know I'm thinking of you. I am from Canada so I did this last month and I stared at the empty chair that I won't let anyone sit in as it was always where she sat at my house once everyone left I was washing dishes and had a large break down so know I'm thinking of you guys and I'm here for you. As for decorating I have done none nor do I have any desire to do it I've put it off until my son comes home from university saying this is the first year he went away so we need to wait to do it all together I'm just putting it off so I don't have to keep reminding myself she's not coming. I have always taken care of the holidays for the last 10 years once it became to tough for her to do it. So I'm glad I've meet you guys to lean on when things are going tough. Hugs everyone

Comment by BLUEBELL on November 22, 2017 at 7:20pm

I just lost a post answering you Bailey. I am so saddened by the upcoming holidays today, that I haven't the energy to retype it.

But I will say that right now, I too want to skip decorating.

Bluebell

Comment by Bailey Smith on November 22, 2017 at 6:44pm

Brett ..I can only imagine how hard it must be losing your Mom on Christmas Eve. Totally agree an hour with your Mom would be awesome. I really don’t want to decorate or put up a tree this year for Christmas. Have other members here skipped decorating for the holidays?

Comment by Bailey Smith on November 22, 2017 at 6:38pm

Thank you Theresa and Crystal. Crystal you described it so well.
The first two months after Mom passed away I felt like I was in a “fog”. Honestly there are a lot of things I don’t remember from those two months. This past month I find I have good days and not so good days. I guess this is normal ? Hugs

Comment by BLUEBELL on November 22, 2017 at 5:57pm

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and it is my first one EVER without Mom. I have always lived in the same area as my Mom. Even if I could not attend Thanksgiving dinner because I had to work or I was sick, at least I was able to talk to her on the phone and wish her a happy day.

I really miss my Mom today. I do not feel like doing anything other than lay on the couch and watch TV or sleeping. Yes, I took care of my daily responsibilities and I went for my usual 3 mile walk, but my heart wasn't in it.

Then there are the Christmas catalogs I was looking at. I was thinking Mom would have liked this and Mom would liked that. I was thinking, I could get her a present at Christmas to signify that even though she is not physically present, she will always be a part of my life. But the thought only brought me sadness

Bluebell

Comment by Theresa on November 22, 2017 at 5:21am

Crystal, that is the best way to describe it.

a darkness looming over you, in a flash it creeps up on you

we have to pray it stops and the happy memories are left

Comment by Theresa on November 21, 2017 at 7:32pm

Bailey I apologize for the spelling

Comment by Crystal K on November 21, 2017 at 7:31pm

Hi guys, first of all condolences to you Bailey. The next few weeks will be a blur for you. And I am praying that you make it through them..Just remember, talk through it.  Having someone to talk to made it much more bearable for me.

Its funny, I remember the first few weeks after my mom died. All I wanted to do was stay in my room and sleep. Now, I'm able to laugh and smile... the pain isn't constant anymore.  but it creeps on you. Its like my shadow following me... Until a smell reminds you of them, or you find her writing somewhere, then you feel the stabbing pain creep up your body to your chest. Just as strong as it was the day I lost my mom...  I wonder if it will always be like this... Going through happy moments with this darkness looming over you waiting to be let out.

Comment by Theresa on November 21, 2017 at 5:05pm

Brett, wouldn't that be the best Christmas gift ever.....

Comment by Theresa on November 21, 2017 at 8:37am

Belly I’m sorry for your loss you have found a great group of people here we are all going through the same thing unfortunately

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