Crystal K
  • Female
  • Honolulu, HI
  • United States
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About my Loss:
I lost the most important person to me 10 days after my 25th birthday- my mom. Still dealing with all the emotions that come with such a significant loss. Its hard, very hard. Life feels empty. I don't enjoy much anymore. Any joy I have is overcast with a dark cloud of sadness. I'm angry, and sad. I have lost others but nothing could prepare me for this.
Now I don't know what the word is to describe the amount of pain and abandonment I feel from losing my mom. Feel like I don't have anyone to rely on. Never was close to my dad. Sisters moved out 10 years ago so although I love them, I am not very close as I once was.

If it was possible I would exchange places with her in a heartbeat, not because of how painful it is- but so she could've lived longer and enjoyed her grandchildren (my sister's kids). She was such a selfless mother, grandmother, sister, caretaker- that she did not deserve to go out the way she did.

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At 6:36pm on June 28, 2018, Joy said…

Hi Crystal, happy birthday. My birthday is also tomorrow and I also dream of my mom occasionally. I dreamed of her last night. She's been gone a little over a year and it's not gotten any better for me. I'm functioning, but I think of her all day every day.

At 9:33pm on October 9, 2017, Bryan Kelly Reeves said…

just your story, why your are here, what you battle (anger, fear, etc)

At 5:16pm on October 9, 2017, Bryan Kelly Reeves said…

Id love yo exchange stories sometime. Also Im working on a project for my masters degree and need to have contact with 5 people and ask them a few questions.

At 7:23pm on September 20, 2017, Joy said…

Crystal, like you, I talk to my mom daily. Whether she can hear me is unknown. I do believe God hears me, so I ask him to tell my mom how much I love her, miss her and wish I could see her to give her a hug. I'd give up everything I own to see her again

 
 
 

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dream moon JO B replied to Marisol Delgado's discussion Hitting me
"its so hard xmas coz our loved 1s no longer with us so sorry  on your loss "
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Hitting me

My daughter did MAID last Tuesday and I've been holding up okay.But just now the Christmas convoy (trucks all lit up that do an organized drive through our small town) went by and suddenly I just started crying, thinking how my girl won't be around to have these small moments. And not that she would have - she wasn't a huge Christmas or celebration person. So I don't know why I'm sitting here crying about it.Oh this is going to hurt a lot :-(See More
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