i need to vent. For those of us who have lost children, husbands etc. this is to the living. I am still grieving my losses. You didn't go through this ordeal. I know its almost three since the first one and a little over a year since the second one. I did not need the man in my life to have been diagnosed with cancer. that came a week after the funeral than pretend nothing happened we are supposed to go back to our jobs and suck it up. the man in my life left last week I think that I am looked at as a cold person. I have had my sister badgering.(we are both in our 50s) about what I am going to do. and i should have been nicer to him and what about a job. I finally had to get away from her. I am having anger issues. I am crying oceans of tears and drowning my pain One died crossing a road. hit and died of a torn aorta. the other was killed doing community service. sitting in the buket of a tractor.kid high on meth a marijuana slammed in to that tractor. I see them in my dreams along with the way they died. I must be a cold heartless person for the events in my life.I want to be left alone. I don't want any one to expect any thing out of me. I am just not capable yet. When my bf left he promised to destroy my world. they can't its been blown apart three years ago when i started this.
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